h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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Swimmers often practice wearing several old, torn suits - the idea is to increase water resistance and thus the quality of the workout. I propose this idea by adapted for everyday life. With longer work hours, and especially in winter, many folks have no time or daylight for exercise and become flabby
and weak. Also, many children become obese and out of shape because of the lure of sedentary indoor activities. Resistance underwear is a set of long johns with firm plastic threads within the material. Every motion is made slightly more difficult when wearing the resistance underwear, thus requiring the wearer to workout in the course of a normal day.
Of course, the truly weak would need only a small amount of resistance, while the longtime wearer would need very firm undies to obtain the proper workout. Thus these undies would come in various strengths as well.
Need I mention that worn alone, the resistance undies would have a sexy, powerful, superhero type look. I can imagine RU inadvertently becoming a dance club craze.
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I have been struck many times on this website by the good ideas but the lack of depth involved in their creative processes. This idea is just one such situation. Whilst resistance underwear would be a very practical solution, why stop there? For truly overbearing brainboxes, the RESISTANCE HAT! Restricting the electric patterns in the brain, this would stop the incessant chatter of even the most annoying social Grim Reaper asy he is viciousl tired out by the merest thought germing in his brain. For that bastard playboy boyfriend of yours, try the RESISTANCE CONDOM! Next time he cheats on you with that bitch Charlene from the swimming pool, he will find his best friend feeling heavier and heavier until gravity suddenly kicks in and he finds himself propelled to the mat, clockweights first. RESISTANCE DIAPHRAGM also exists for dalliauncing females. Finally, for those of you tired with the insipid musical bullshit choked out by Fame Academy winner and such like, purchase the RESISTANCE VOCAL CHORDS. Get them to swallow a pill and any attempt by them to use this particular organ will cause a rippling effect similar to Hurricane Isabel in a wind-chime factory, thus disabling them and bringing great relief to the nation. |
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Ah [Bling] - truly you miss the point of the resistance principle. While the devices you propose may temporarily slow dalliances and poor singing, by working against the resistance these n'er-do-wells will ultimately be stronger than before - and better able to carry out the very tasks you seek to prevent. |
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What you really need is the reverse of this, or a _facilitation_ device. Wearing the facilitation devices would be in effect like living on a low gravity world - Charlene will be astonished at your boyfriends newfound mojo, but he will eventually become dependent on the device. When the bank comes to repo the facilitation device, Charlene is in for a big (or not so big) surprise. |
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Well done, [bungston]. Is this your "pièce de résistance?" |
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Charlene's cheating on Charlie? I can't believe what I'm hearing! |
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//Every motion is made slightly more difficult when wearing the resistance underwear,// oh its early, sorry. |
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Perhaps my codpièce de résistance. |
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brilliant. I love this idea. It reminds me of dragonball z. All you'd need is for the resistance to be applied at each joint. And instead of plastic I'd use pizo electric materials. Why generate heat when you can generate power; afterall the next big application of microprossesors is in fabric. lastly , some form of adjustments would be nice so that the wearer could keep increasing the resistance. |
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So long as we're using pizoelectrics, I would propose that the energy generated by the movement of your limbs could be used to provide the power to a fabric-based coolant system. This would force the wearer to expend more energy in providing heat for their body, and over time will increase their metabolism. |
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I'm with reensure on this one. I think a rethink is in order
- within the annotations, that is. |
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The innuendos are out of line. I would think target
practice is hindered by wearing resistant underwear. |
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Stain resistance would be an appropriate quality to
include in these sugggested garments for those who
would choose them. Myself, I prefer to garden and
run.This doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the appropriate
halfbakedness of this idea. This is an example of what I
love about this place. You get another bun, bungston. |
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[aka], you catch on quickly. The French are the
preferred target for practice around here. |
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aka, I was referring to the trend here at the halfbakery
for using the French in frivolous puns, jokes, referrences,
etc. and that I had noted the account for [aka] was so
new. It seems now you are more familiar with the 'bakery
than the average newbie. This is just an observation and
means nothing more than that. |
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Hmmmm. Nice idea, but I have some reservations. These underbeneaths would be very tight, no? Like those control pants and reducing bras etcetera. I think this would lead to unsightly bulges at the extremeties of the undies leading to protruding rolls at mid-thigh, on flabby upper arm and around waist (unless it's an all in one with a bum flap, then only the thighs and arms). |
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If you build that ever lovin' personal generator into these, you will be and create resistance at the same time. |
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[Squeaky] - I envision this to look like a speed skater outfit - bumflap, then down to wrists and ankles. Gloves and booties could be added for those who felt their digits needed resistance as well. |
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Resistance underwear = V
underwear/ I |
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Alright [bungston]. That sounds fine if you don't mind having a *really* fat neck. |
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Don't fall asleep and forget you've got the suit on either. |
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My great-grandad went out to the pub one night and on his wobbly way home, feeling peckish, he bought a bag of tripe bits in vinegar from a stall. |
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When he woke up the next morning he had a terrible headache and couldn't move his fingers. He told my great-gran he was paralysed and started to panic until she brought a wet cloth and washed the sticky tripe juice (yum) off his hands. |
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//would come in various strengths as well//
Are the strengths marked visibly on them using a series of colored stripes, perhaps? Ohm thinking we'd need a mnemonic for that. |
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Briefs Building Resistance Over Years Give Very Good Workouts. |
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There could be a special line of super high resistance undies, for those who have progressed thru all those levels available at the department store. You would definitely want some identifying mark on these, both to advertise your prowess and to avoid folks who werent ready for them winding up as gingerbread men after putting them on. |
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Would Resistance Underwear have
Pockets of Resistance? Ok, I'm
sorry that was bad. |
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Restrain yourself next time then. |
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I'm sorry buts that's the bottom line... |
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I can see this leading to several sores, scars, and bruises by its wearers. Ever had an ill-fitting piece of underwear on for an extended period of time? I don't see how you'd get around that with "firm plastic threads" in the clothing. Really, it's not a very good idea. Even if it were made of a soft material, any points of pressure would end up rubbing and eventually cause sores. Yeah I know, I'm no fun :( |
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I think you are just afraid of a little hard work, [Mick]. |
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I thought that this would be underwear for revolutionaries. |
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has nobody yet made the "listen vairy cairfully - ah shall say
zis only wence." joke? |
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