It has come to light that many ministers of religion,
usually but not invariably Catholics, have a
penchant for paedophillia.
Clearly, this is a major problem for churches, who
suffer serious adverse publicity, and have to pay
large amounts of compensation to victims.
But a solution is
available. Looking like a standard
confessional, the Repressional is an effectively
enclosed and soundproof booth in which priests
can interfere with vulnerable little kids to their
heart's content (and other bit s of their body too)
without fear of observation.
The interior is decorated with vivid, terrifying and
graphic images of
Hell, and appropriate Biblical texts; the perpetrator
("he/she tempted me") can be left listening to an
audio track which threatens them with eternal
punishment if they tell anyone about what they
imagine happened.
Comes complete with high-level cover up. Rosaries
not included.
De Luxe version is surmounted by life-size
animatronic effigies of Horatio Nelson and Vincent
van Gogh. The heads are remotely controlled from
Diocesan HQ, thus allowing the Bishop and his
assistants to turn a blind eye and/or a deaf ear, as
appropriate.