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Rent a Family

 because here comes another lonely holiday.....
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Rent a family complete with parents, old aunts, siblings, cousins, and assorted children. Hell, throw in a rented husband for the day and I'm there. Supply a house with a large family dining room table, plenty of food, and a fireplace to drink coffee in front of later with dessert. Have people give you gifts that really mean something and are seem to have been chosen for you. Have gifts on hand that fit everyone perfectly. Take lots of photos so you have.......wait....I'll finish this when I'm done crying. (sorry, centauri, I'm just having a bad day....)
—Susen, Apr 12 2001

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       (((((((((((((Susen))))))))))))
—thumbwax, Apr 13 2001
   

       Eeewahrgh.
—ping, Apr 13 2001
   

       (((((((((((((Susen))))))))))))   

       >>friends are the family you choose for yourself<<
—iuvare, Apr 13 2001
   

       i owe you a few, so here they are...   

       (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((susen)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))   

       please keep writing through the weekend, we'll write back!!!   

       :-)
—mihali, Apr 13 2001
   

       Good friends are probably better than family, just as iuvare suggests. You don't have to deal with Cousin D, who is obnoxious and paranoid, and weepy Aunt G. On the other hand, a rent-a-family may behave perfectly but you always know that they're doing it for money and not for luv.   

       Gather friends around, or else you end up like the Simon and Garfunkel song:   

       "They would have been being a rock,"
"They would have been being an island."
—Dog Ed, Apr 13 2001
   

       OK....I'm back, sorry for this post, it was a rough day. Now that I've upped my medication :-) does anyone care if I delete it? BTW, thanks for the hugs and the invitations to spend the holidays in various locations....UnaBubba, if only I could get away from the farm...I'd take you up on it.
—Susen, Apr 14 2001
   

       Well, foaling/breeding season....I am indespensible unless we could convince the local vet to live here until I got back :-) I haven't slept through a night in two months...but only 4 more babies to go!
—Susen, Apr 15 2001
   

       UnaBubba - my ex-brother-in-law really is a sub-human arsehole of the highest order. My whole family thinks alike, including my sister who married him. She saw the light rather quickly and got away just in time.
—PotatoPete, Apr 16 2001
   

       Ok although I'm new around here... how's about renting someone's kids ....PLEASE!!!! I got 4 that are ready to go....they fight with each other, complain when told to do something (albeit under their breath most of the time), and generally make more work for you but hey, I could really use the $$. And I'll even take them back when you're totally exhausted (I am kinda attached to them in a motherly sort of way).
—WillowOak, Apr 16 2001
   

       Susen - as a lifetime member of a large, close, literate, honorable, deliriously happy family, I invite you and anybody else to join us for holidays. The great thing about happy families is that everyone really is welcome, most of the time ... and there's always room for one more.   

       (So long as that "one more" isn't the manipulative, mullet-wearing jackass to whom my sister is married ... but that's a story for another time.)   

       PotatoPete - any advice on where I can find the formula for that "seeing the light" effect you describe? I have an unfortunately married sister to whom I'd love to administer it.
—1percent, Apr 16 2001
   

       Again, thank you all. Suffice it to say, that while I did make it through the weekend, it was pure insanity. The "father person" showed up, unannounced from 2 states away, to put me through hell. For the record, he never said "Happy Easter"...he was too busy yelling at me in front of my employees and trying to figure out what he could get from me this time. I even had to threaten to call the police to get him off my farm. Oh, joy...another fun-filled holiday memory..... someday I will live somewhere where no one related by blood will ever find me....   

       I did foal out a mare this morning and mom and baby are doing well (not my mare so we don't get to name this one).
—Susen, Apr 16 2001
   

       I don't think i'll bother complaining because my 1 year old woke me up too early ever again! I admire the willingness to be a horse midwife. I doubt I would last long at the task.
—RobGraham, Apr 17 2001
   

       With all those horses, Susen, you put together some sort of caravanserai and go visiting!
—DrBob, Apr 17 2001
   

       DrBob....besides being completely impractical (i.e. mares due right now, foals less than a week old, over 40 horses most of which are either young or race horses in training, no pack animals to carry feed/hay for them all, etc.)....who exactly would I go visit?
—Susen, Apr 17 2001
   

       Any one you like, really. You've got a few offers here and I've got plenty of parking space outside my flat. I'm sure nobody would notice a few horses scattered about the place. If the Romans and Arabs could ship large numbers of horses around the known world, then I've got faith that you can do it too. Shall I put the kettle on?
—DrBob, Apr 17 2001
   


 

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