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This would be an international event, in which religions, rather than countries, competed. I envisage a somewhat light hearted series of events, rather along the lines of the ever popular `It's a Knockout'.
The Catholics would be obvious favourites for the drinking competitions, whereas the Buddhists
would play their joker in the combat event. The chanting marathon would be hotly contested between the Muslims and the Pagans.
Drugs testing would not take place, thus giving the Rastafarians a fair crack of the whip.
Other suggestions for events would be welcome.
A story on 'Yogic Flight'.
http://www.straight...lassics/a4_136.html
A description of the "Fourth Annual Continental Yogic Flying Competition" [StarChaser, Nov 22 2000, last modified Oct 17 2004]
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Annotation:
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Not if this LDS gets hold of the last part going over the fence! Hold on Billy Bob Jones!!! |
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The followers of the old Norse gods are strongly fancied in the hammer throwing. |
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...and the Stylites would not be allowed to compete in the Pole Vault or the High Board Diving. |
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I and two others created our -own- religion, thank you very much. I'm a demi-god *grin* |
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Drug testing *would* take place, as a competitive event. How much peyote can the reigning shaman champ ingest? |
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Surely not enough to beat the reigning champion cocaine snorter, Krishna? |
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Drop out and tune in soon to see! |
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the Prayer and Divine Intervention categories are Baked. I've read all about these Olympics. In 1 Kings, Yahweh through Elijah competes against Baal through 450 priests....to see who can actually set an altar on fire. Baal got the silver and Yahweh got the gold in that face off. Then there was the sling shot competition....David got the gold in that one. I seem to recall a fish catching competition and a plague calling competition too..... These would be interesting in modern times though. I suggest putting the Baptists against the Catholics and the Pentacostals against the Mormons....could be interesting. |
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The heptathlon where each side visits seven plagues on
the other to try to get them to let their people cross the
finish line. |
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Perhaps also a televangelism section run over the course
of the entire games to see which religion gets the most
gold. |
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If these "Olympics" were televised, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints could provide the commercials. |
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All medals would be provided by the Vatican, which would further ensure that each medal winner felt extremely guilty upon receipt. |
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...and all sponsered by McDonalds (the anti-christ - according to Bill Hicks, at least). |
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Will the Scientologists be there? (Braces for site shutdown) |
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Of course they will. Someone's got to charge huge fees for admission. |
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Would the programs be Chick Tracts? |
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I suppose the judges would have to be agnostics, and the token crowd of demonstratos would be atheistic scientists? |
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....and the two finalists for the Banging-Your-Head-
Against-The-Holy-Brick-Wall event are the Islamic Fundamentalists and the Conservative Jews. This one is a marathon contest to take place over a number of centuries.... |
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I'm sure The Goodies did a sketch on this... |
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The Religious Olympics already takes place in Jerusalem, replete with rifle and stone-throwing events. |
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The US will have a pretty good advantage in blowing up the abortion clinic and shoot the doctor competitions. Maybe an edge with snake-handling too. |
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It doesn't matter where in the world the events take place, they must be politicaly correct. Happy Holidays. |
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Any Idea how many religions are out there? This would take weeks to finish, maybe months. I would loose interest after the first week. |
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