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Red Eggs
Smashingly nonviolent and gooey protest gear | |
Punch a tiny hole in raw eggs, pipette in a bit of red dye, shake, then hurl at your favorite symbol of governmental or economic oppression.
The ideal effect is a dripping red stain, symbolic blood without spilling blood.
Red eggs are nonpartisan (can be used by advocates of any cause), nonviolent
(no one gets hurt), and very TV and news friendly (blood stains are magnets for camera crews, thus guaranteeing coverage for your cause).
Beats the alternative.
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mene, mene, tekel upharsin. |
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Why not just throw red dye, and what do vegetarians use? |
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organic eggs, of course.
The egg is the ideal efficient delivery system, allowing the protester to launch from safe distances with high accuracy and velocity.
Then there is the satisfying smashing effect on impact, and the optimal viscosity of the reddened egg white that you just don't get with red dye right out of the vial. |
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Just testing, good answers. I hereby withdraw my 'mene, mene, tekel upharsin'. |
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well, that's one curse off my head. 99 more to go. |
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There are inorganic eggs? |
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Hey, I didn't think about that did I? You've got some explaining to do, roby. |
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I wonder what blue, green or brown would look like... *Shudders at the mental image* |
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Good idea freelancer! What if you want to protest by throwing stuff to red buildings/monuments? You might need to have different coloured eggs. I like this! (+) |
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Inorganic throwing eggs. Perhaps there is a market for synthetic eggs designed expressly for throwing at things. The yolks could be some sort of water soluable goo that doesn't stain and can be washed off without great difficulty even after baking in the sun. Innards could come in a variety of colors and viscosities, from watery to sludge. The shells could be plaster-of-paris or similar, maybe even a compressed calcium substance with a binder, like ground seashells. |
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This way no food is wasted, salmonella risk is eliminated and they won't ruin car paint because they'd be pH neutral. |
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Or you could make ones of car wash detergent, specifically for throwing at cars... |
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I think you'd have to use a paint shaker. Some artists use egg tempura which is, well, paint made with raw egg. I've seen it used where the yolk is held in the palm of the hand and pigment mixed in a bit at a time; powdered tempura pigments. Of course, this is done outside the shell. |
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Hm. I assume you'd have to shake it VERY carefully when injecting the dye, and ensure that you broke the membrane so that the yolk and white would mix together to give a smoother dye, rather than just splutting in a mix of clear, yolk and dye. |
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Excerpt from the book "Raw Eggs and Dye". (With apologies to Theodore Geisel):
...While you're standing on some boxes,
Egg the people wearing foxes.
At the face of Margaret Thatcher.
You can throw them in a batch, Sir.
You can throw red eggs at Bush,
Throw them at his little tush.
You can throw red eggs at Blair.
Get some egg slime in his hair.
Throw some eggs at Mr. Saddam,
Cover him from top to boddam.
Would you throw them in Iraq?
Would you throw them at Chiraq?
Would you throw your eggs at Hu?
Tell me now, what would you do?
I will not throw them at Chiraq.
I will not throw them in Iraq.
I will not throw them at a fox,
I will not throw them from a box.
Not Dubya, Maggy, Hu or Blair,
I will not throw them anywhere.
I do not like raw eggs and dye.
I do not like them, "Sam-Am-I".
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[jutta] thanks for the paint-in-egg links.
you all raise excellent issues about inverted egg dyeing. I'll buy up all the specially made protest eggs bristolz can make.
<pause while roby disappears into kitchen>da da dee, da da da...</pause>
OK, I had to know. Trial data with one egg, one toothpick, and three drops of red food coloring show mixed success. <groan>
Seriously, more research is needed for ideal blending technique, dye/egg volume ratios etc. Volunteers? ? (Then we'll need a hurling test site...)
The reddened egg white I just got was amazingly blood-like.
Pragmatically, egg and food dye do wash off fairly easily, (as opposed to paint) so it is more about political expression and not so destructive or vandalizing.
And symbolically, there's something right about the egg being used to protest death and killing. |
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I think paintballs have, um, paint inside.
This is the new improved, half-baked, overly complicated and politically correct version. |
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I like it. That being said, I wouldn't want to be hit by one. I'll have to make sure not to upset the masses. |
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I wonder if we could get that guy who pied Bill Gates to switch over to red pies also? |
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I don't think shaking egs would mix the contents. Chickens' eggs are made up of alternating layers of runny and not-so-runny albumen which surround the yolk. The yolk is secured to both ends of the egg with twisted strands of a fairly elastic kind of albumen. Quite a tough construction.
And what do you mean vegetarians can use organic eggs? Whether they're organic or not has nothing to do with it - vegetarians shouldn't be using any eggs. A vegetarian alternative would be 'eggs' moulded from sugar glass (something like a 'hard ball' toffee, I think) filled with a choice of honey, peanut butter or mashed banana. |
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it'll smell terrible, i'm up for that. |
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Throw chickens, if necessary with a chicken gun. Vegetarians can launch pigeons. |
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A slingshot wouldn't be a good idea - the pressure that would be applied to the egg when pulling back on the slingshot to fire it would probably see you covered in shell and red dyed egg. |
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A sling wouldn't be much better, either. Spin the sling around and the egg would likely shatter, spraying anyone near you in shell and egg (for an approximate image, try throwing a ripe watermelon at helicopter blades when they're running) |
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depends - if you designed the slingshot so that one end of the egg nestled in the interior, rather than along the side, you'd probably be ok. Not that I'm volunteering for the test, mind... |
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Actually, now that I come to ponder it, there is actually an egg slinging contest somewhere in Dorset - an age old village tradition, I seem to recall. I remember seeing it on Hugh Fairly-Witterson's program - anyone else remember any details? |
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'Hugh Fairly-Witterson' - That's a real name? |
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Hugh Fearnley-Witterstall is, though. Do a search for 'River Cottage.' Actually a very good three series and book. |
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//I don't think shaking eggs would mix the contents// |
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Use an “Inside-the-Shell Electric Egg Scrambler”. |
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How long is it before this is baked in the news? |
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Now, there's an easy way and a hard way. The easy way is to fill the egg with flourescent dye that glows in the dark. Simple for your night raids and halloween egg runs. |
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The hard way is to modify a chicken (it can be done, I beleive, so no screaming 'magic' - look at the flourescing rabbit they made) to lay eggs with flourescent material inside the egg white/yolk. Not easy, as the auto-flourescing that a glow worm does is different to the rabbit (the rabbit shone only under special light) but after speaking with a molecular biologist I'm told it's feasible though the response I got was "Why would you want to do that?" |
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I just answered "Halloween, of course" |
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//And what do you mean vegetarians can use organic eggs? Whether they're organic or not has nothing to do with it - vegetarians shouldn't be using any eggs.// |
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You're thinking of vegans.
Or you were, 10 years ago. |
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