Randomised monkey vote

A system of government based on which pile of bananas the monkeys pick from first, all monkeys to be elected by the STB (single transferable banana) voting system. This would save a great deal of time currently spent on listening to politicians in order to to choose your favourite - since monkeys are much easier to prioritise.

To provide a democratically fair and just random selection of banana by the monkeys, the bananas will be loaded on a lazy Susan consisting of a rapidly rotating three metre disc of cheese, cooled to near absolute zero, floating over electromagnets.

A side-benefit of this would be encouraging the development of room-temperature superconductors, which would have many advantages - such as superconducting toupees, which might reduce the number of lightning strike injuries.

In order to enliven election-day coverage, the diverse and democraticaly representative presentation panel will attempt to settle various long-standing topics for good. Like why anyone would think twisting long balloons into animal shapes is even vaguely interesting, and whether an SI unit for analogy strength would be a good idea.

Obviously, the plagerism of these ideas required a time machine.