RIP Linus Folkes

It is possible, though lamentable, that few people will have heard of Linus Folkes except in his obituary. However, this diminutive Liverpudlian engineer and ornithologist was responsible for developing the first practicable means of splinting broken bird wings satisfactorily, and a great many birds - both tame and wild - owe their lives (or at least their airworthiness) to him.

His interests, however, extended far beyond ornithology. If you have ever used a retractable ball-point pen, you can thank Linus Folkes for inventing that little saw- toothed, spring-loaded widget that enables it to alternately retract and extend at the press of a button. This mechanism, in turn, was based on his earlier (and less successful) work on machine-gun mechanisms during the later years of WWII.

You may also have wondered what genius developed the flexible silicone anus that now appears on many bottles of ketchup, mayonnaise and other sauces, allowing them to be squeezed out their plastic bottles without accumulating a rim of dried sauce around the nozzle. That genius was none other than an ageing but still razor- sharp Linus Folkes, who hit upon the idea after his studies into avian cloacae.

Folkes' modesty - and his desire to see his inventions used rather than to make a personal fortune - may be one reason why you have never heard of this gentleman. Another reason may be that he never actually existed.

Proposed, therefore, is a regular newspaper column to obituarize people who, though never having actually existed, have led remarkable and noteworthy lives.