h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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Queuers
Doing a job that NOBODY wants | |
Christmas - don't you just love it? Battling to find a parking space, wandering around the store shoulder-to-shoulder with countless other shoppers, then queueing for half an hour before going to the next shop to start all over again...
Queuers can't eliminate all this, but they can make your day
a little more productive. When you've finished browsing, hand your purchases to a Queuer who will join the line at the checkout for you. Leaving your mobile phone number, you make your way to the next store and peruse at leisure until the Queuer from the previous shop rings you to advise that they're next in line. Handing your purchases to the Queuer, you leave your mobile number and head back to the previous shop where you relieve the other Queuer of the goods and pay the cashier. If you're not sure how long you have until you're due back at the next shop you ring the Queuer there and make plans accordingly.
Queuers could either be employed by the store, or could work independently for a small fixed fee each time you use the service.
A-1 Bum Rental
A-1_20Bum_20Rental
WWJD? Probably pay a bum to do it. I know I would. [AfroAssault, Dec 16 2004]
[link]
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"Queueing" and "Miaouing" (or "Miaoued") are the only English words which contain 5 consecutive vowels. |
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Well there you go [hippo] - I've learnt something today! |
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Incidentally, thanks for the tip - I've amended my spelling to include the final 'e'... |
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Presumably, you only have one of those [calum]? A queuer or two might be handy for when the poor guy revolts and bolts for the pub. |
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Don't queuers have a habit of butting in? |
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Like a consumerist sailor, I have a boyfriend in every store, [DocBrown]. |
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Ingenious! You hoarey old sea dog. ;) |
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//the only English words which contain 5 consecutive vowels// |
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Actually, it's not an english word. When you stand in queues (as you have been doing at least since 1837, when this meaning of the word is first recorded in English), you may not realize you form a tail. The French word "queue" from which the English word is borrowed is a descendant of Latin "coda", meaning “tail”. |
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Didn't this happen recently when some swanky flats were put on the market somewhere in Britain? I'm sure I read about students getting paid £50 a day to stand (or lie) in a queue so that they could put down deposits for money-rich but time-poor executives. Will try to find a linky. |
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[pericles], so croissant is not an english word either? I thought foreign words were allowed to be adopted. |
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The guy waited in line to add the word 'queue' to the Oxford dictionary, but he grew a tail in the boredom of waiting and gave up. |
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Interestingly, the other use of the word 'coda' is 'Repeat this section of music'.... which also gets done around stores at christmas. |
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Anyway, I'm not voting until I know my croissant is in English. |
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[Pericles] Yes, but if you go back far enough there are no English words - they're all taken from various old German dialects, Latin, French, Greek, Arabic (trivia: the word "kiosk" comes from the word for tent), Sanskrit, etc. |
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The English version of "croissant" will probably be a misspelling (in fact, isn't misspelling the source of every new language?) -- perhaps "crosan". |
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Quivering with querelous anticipation, the Quebec Quaker queens quorum quickly queued to question the quite quiet, queer quokka about the 'quakes in Queensland. |
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[hippo] what about Celtic? |
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Yes, Belfry, you're quite right. 'Celtic' also comes from an arabic word for 'tent'. |
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I'd like to stay and discuss this but I've got to que up at Macy's for the 500th pre-Holiday one day sale. Ta! |
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Sorry, "Billiards tournament" doesn't come from an arabic word for "tent". |
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Macy's, the original *tent*. |
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my weak attempt at sarkiness,[po]. the gullible consumers,( I only know a few), are there with bells on. |
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The alliteration is making my ears bleed. |
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The hypertext is on the wall for stores. Mene mene tekel upharsin. |
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does that mean" 75% off all hosiery and shoes"? |
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I haven't even started on my shopping. Can I just pay the Queers to go shop for the stuff? |
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Personal shoppers, once upon a time I thought I would like to do that, then we moved to Northern Virginia. goor, the traffic! This time of year, the cars are lined up just trying to get into the parking lot at the shopping mall. |
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Toy stores could also offer "tramplers" -- ex-[American]football players who you could hire to fight with the other parents and hopefully grab the last craze-producing doll off the shelf. |
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well ok [contracts], I really should use metro more, but I just avoid the place and use the internet like mr E.D.jr suggested. |
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Aaaah, if it weren't for the internet there'd be clumps of my hair in all the shops I would've been christmas shopping at from my impatience/annoyance of standing in long lines with crying/screaming children and annoying yelling parents. God bless the 'Net. [no offense to any annoying yelling parents here with crying/screaming children] |
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