Pump-Action Salt-Gun

Imagine a normal table with a normal dinner set up, perhaps a family is enjoying a seasonal celebration. Uncle Phil, as per, decides he needs more salt. He reaches for the salt cellar, and shakes a little on his food. Now, that salt is just sitting right at the top. Dull.

Solution: Design a salt cellar that looks like a pump action shot gun. It could conceivably be of almost any size, but shotgun sized is good. The pump action is crucial here: On the way out, it grinds salt, on the way in*, the salt is loaded into the chamber. Point at the food and squeeze the trigger... phooop! The salt is ejected at high velocity by CO2 from one of those bicycle tire CO2 cylinders that seem cheap enough. Now, hopefully you have a little salt penetration into the food. Changing the internals around a bit should let you select grind size from near-lethal fin-stabilized cylindrical salt-slug** through to a fine powder so that you may tune the whole process in the same way shot gun enthusiasts have been doing for years.

*You use the grinds from the previous cycle, so it goes in- out to preserve the shot gun-like action.

**the slug that works on slugs, I don't know why I even pay the marketing division.