h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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Leg irons, ball-n- chains and ankle shackles will soon become
relics of the past.
I propose two new prisoner encumberment Foot Lockers.
#1).........A boxy over-sized enclosure made of impact
resistant plastic. This 'over shoe' would fit completly
over any prison issue shoe. It would be locked
in place
by the guards. The box shape of each foot locker would
extend 12 inches out on each side of a prisoners' foot.
This would encumber normal walking, and be too bulky
to operate a vehicle. There would be a coating of Teflon
on all the surfaces, eliminating any grip between the Foot
Locker and any other surface.
#2)...........A half of a sphere or bowl shaped foot enclosure.
Also made of impact resistant plastic. The rounded side
facing the ground. Several disk shaped areas of rubber
are attached to the 1/2 sphere at various points to provide
some minimal friction surfaces.
Prisoners would only be able to manage taking tiny little
steps, any aggressive movements would result in the
prisoner falling down.
Wedlock
http://en.wikipedia.../Wedlock_%28film%29
[normzone, May 16 2011]
[link]
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Leg irons, ball-n-chains, and ankle shackles should be things of the past because these devices, like the penal systems in which they are employed, are inhumane. Let's not go advocating dehumanizing inventions. - |
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Sounds a bit cruel and unusual to me. |
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Still, I was hoping for a shoe store... |
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1) Prisoners unable to move anywhere. Can't stand up. Must be wheeled by disgruntled guards everwhere. Piss all over the cell floors. |
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2) Prisoners launching class-action lawsuits for 'faulty footwear'. |
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How about lockable stillettos instead? Then they would not be able to run, only mince, and the world record for mincing is only 10 mph I believe. |
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How about one of the round bottom shoes for both feet to fit into? sort of a prisoner "weebles" sort of thing. Short hops would be possible, but the likelihood of a tip over would limit the urge to move around. I'm thinking a mass prison break might work since the guards would be too overcome with laughter watching the escape to prevent it... of course rounding up the escapees wouldn't take too long to accomplish would it? |
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lockable stilletos... would that make the prison a camp boot boot camp then? |
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Fishbone for the idea, btw. I agree with [grip]. |
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And then you can stuff the stilleto-wearers into the trunk of your car which would make it a camp boot boot camp boot. Whew! |
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and if they were manufactured by Boots (a UK Store BTW) ... |
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First of all I don't think prisoners need our coddling.
Clunky, awakward footware is hardly cruel when
compared with the cruelty some of these prisoners have
commited on their victims. |
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If it were up to me I'd recommend 'hobbling' them, like
they did in the bad old days. |
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How about this variation: They wear (locked-on) shoes
which have been coated with an extremely slippery
substance (like Teflon)? |
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[Dustoff], let's round 'em up and encase them in impact-resistant plastic Mr Wobbly-Man suits (Mr Wobbly-Man, you know, that guy that you can punch all day long and he just rights himself over and over again). Then prisoners can't whinge about having dodgy footwear, but also can't get anywhere other than by rolling. |
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I think that our prisoners do need a good coddle. Which is why I've organized the Coddle-A-Prisoner Day. Hugs and gentle encouragement will be administered to prisoners the world over by kind volunteers. |
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There but for the grace of god, so to speak, are you, cosmo... |
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Anyway, scuba flippers would do the job just as well. |
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What we need is the system featured in the "classic" film Wedlock in which prisons had no physical boundaries. Instead, prisoners all wore a collar which was (unbeknownst to them) linked to another prisoner's collar. If either tried to escape, both their collars exploded with hilarious consequences. Ho hum. |
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Strange how a Google search for many esoteric items seems
inevitably to lead back to some utterly bizarre and irellevant
item in the HB… |
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If you Google "Borg gullibility" the HB is the top hit -
result!! |
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Stilleto runs are getting very common, and at least
one 100m run was won at 15mph. Considering the
world record for the 100m is only around 23 mph, I'm
not sure [nichpo]'s suggestion is all that good. |
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If you make them boat-shaped, you would have a boat boot. Try saying that five times real fast. |
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Red Dwarf . Episode "Justice". |
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