h a l f b a k e r yInvented by someone French.
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The prayer app detects if your eyes are closed and you are speaking in an emotional or hushed tone. It wakes Siri or Cortana and modifies their voice to the *deep bass we have come to expect from frequent interactions with the omnipresent supernatural, offering random practical Google search and/or
religious / spiritual / psychoactive-drug or even magic 8-ball level advice pulled from a database of trippy online religious books, any trace of which instantly disappears as soon as you open your eyes.
*Every once in awhile a demonic-hiss-like cackling should substitute, just to keep things interesting.
Eventually we'll all just pray to a triune Siri/Cortana/Robin, who resides in the clouds, through an implant we get at birth and aren't told about.
Divorces by religion
http://divorce.love...tistics_by_Religion
When a couple marry those of their religion pray for them. If the marriage has supernatural help, it should influence divorce statistics. [Voice, Jun 15 2015]
Apparently western protestants have chosen the wrong supernatural entity
http://www.mediaite...vative-protestants/
[Voice, Jun 15 2015]
Muslim Pro
https://play.google...oid.muslimpro&hl=en
- Fasting times during Ramadan - Accurate Prayer time calculator based on your current location - Azan / Adhan: visual and audio notifications / calls for prayer - The Holy Quran (Al Qur'an) with recitations (mp3 audio), phonetics and translations - Dua's from the popular "Hisnul Muslim" book (Fortress of the Muslim) - Halal restaurants and mosques locations around you - Animated Qibla compass to show you the direction to Mecca - Muslim calendar to estimate holy dates such as Eid-Ul-Fitr and Eid-Ul-Adha - Islamic greeting cards - 99 names of Allah [tatterdemalion, Jun 16 2015]
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That is a very elegant piece of philosophy, [Ian].
However, I refute it thus: <points to Wales>. |
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Imagination, b.s.ing, all about the same really. |
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I went through my philosophy phase proclaiming
much the same-existence is good, nonexistence is
bad, etc. Then I had kids and stopped living in my
head. |
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Don't worry Ian, its a temporary affliction. You'll get
over it eventually. |
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I thought this would be the app equivalent of Tibetan prayer wheels, i.e. the app prays constantly on your behalf so you don't need to bother. |
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Nicely ironic if your prayer wheel breaks and gets to heaven
before you do ... |
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You do wonder if any Muslims have the call to prayer times scheduled as music for their cellphones. |
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Just out of interest, do Muslim prayer times shift
with daylight saving and with time zone? And how
can they be sure that Allah adds leap-seconds at the
same times that we do? |
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Presumably this is all sorted out by the Muslim Pro
app, but what do hobbyist Muslims do? |
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[MB] I would imagine they work on a local solar time equal hours system, but that's just a wild guess. |
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More importantly, what happens if you get it wrong? Some kind of devil comes up and bites your bum? I believe that's what happens to Christians who accidentally neglect some part of their liturgical or devotional duty. |
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// And how can they be sure that Allah adds leap-seconds at the
same times that we do ? // |
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They don't need to. The Islamic calendar is a Lunar one and "drifts" as
the lunar cycles are not coincident with ephemeris time. |
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// what do hobbyist Muslims do? // |
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Get executed for Apostasy. |
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// I would imagine they work on a local solar time equal hours
system, but that's just a wild guess. // |
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// what happens if you get it wrong? Some kind of devil comes up and
bites your bum? // |
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Not quite. The Taliban come round and slaughter you and your entire
extended family with AK47's, including your domestic and
domesticated animals. Then they burn your house down. |
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Of course, in some jurisdictions they're not nearly so liberal. |
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The good news is that a high proportion of sentences are set aside on
appeal, so that's OK. |
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// I believe that's what happens to Christians who accidentally neglect
some part of their liturgical or devotional duty. // |
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It's what some Christians believe happens to them when they
accidentally neglect some part of their liturgical or devotional duty. |
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Of course for Catholics they just get buggered by the priest whether
they've neglected some part of their liturgical or devotional duty or
not, and thern get told it's God's Will. And not to tell anyone, because
it's God's secret. So tht's OK, then. |
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Watch out. If you compete with Muslim Pro you know what
could happen to you... |
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A really smart version of Muslim Pro would set all the
prayer times a few minutes fast. After all, if you
want to get Allah's attention, it can't hurt to turn up
ahead of the masses. |
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//The prayer app detects if your eyes are closed and you are speaking in an emotional or hushed tone//
I think at better set of metrics is required than my usual lunchtime seminar-induced incipient fugue state. Instead, the Prayer App should be linked to the biometric-collecting Apple watch or similar, such that your heart rate or sweat volume is tracked, allowing your phone to respond all godlike when you're being chased down back alleys by Quds Force operatives. |
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//Presumably there would need to be a back-end
with clergy// Why is everyone having a go at the
Catholics all of sudden? |
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Anyways, the Muslim Pro Plus app, as well as doing all the prep work for the faithful, will do the prayer as well, provided you point it due East, face down. |
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Having spent some time in a predominantly muslim
country, I can see that there is room for some
efficiency savings. But I'm not sure the app would
suffice. |
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I'm pretty sure the Koran doesn't specify the language
that has to be used for the half-hourly prayers. So,
someone just needs to devise a high-level prayer
language. With suitable definitions, it ought to be
possible to condense the whole praying thing into one
syllable. This is already done to an extent in some
muslim texts, where every mention of Allah has to be
followed by "PBUH" (lit. "peas be upon him", i.e. "may
he be nourished"). I presume
that the muslim god is as omniscient as anyone else's,
so more or less by definition he/she would know that
"P'tash" was a more efficient way of expressing 30min
of praying. |
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Already done in the RC church, where most children can manage the entire Hail Mary (55-60 syllables depending if you include commas and such) in a little less than 3 seconds. |
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When you're a little kid and there are catholic priests on the
prowl, about the only thing you can do is pray REALLY fast … |
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If you prayed to an infinite number of monkeys with
typewriters, would they eventually answer it in a
way that predicted the future of every conceivable
outcome in the multiverse? |
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No, obviously not, because prayer is merely self-delusion. Next? |
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//The energy of positive influence over a random
graph must inherently be different to a lack of such
influence.// You've never worked in academia, have
you, [Ian]? |
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I think {Ian} is trying to say, somewhat wordily, that self-delusion can sometimes have practical applications. |
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Sounds like "The Secret". |
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Save the power of positive thinking mumbo-jumbo. It's
every bit as silly. |
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//The energy of positive influence over a random graph
must inherently be different to a lack of such influence.
The connection of more than one person together
strengthens the desire influence, as would repeating it. We
have language, we have imagination, we can influence the
reality we model around us. This is beyond provable, look
at the buildings, bridges, technology, roads, aircraft etc
that surround us. If our desire coupled with imagination
expressed as language had no influence on the world at
all, we’d still be picking fleas out of each other’s hair and
not achieving much else.//
— Ian Tindale, Jun 18 2015 |
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This is a very potent paragraph. I just thought I would point
that out. |
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