Pothole Gauge

Every cyclist knows how difficult it is to gauge the depth of a waterfilled depression in the road surface. Is it an inch deep and thus relatively safe to ride through? Or is it a pothole deep enough to fold a wheel in half and pitch the rider under the wheels of a bus? The time available to make such life and death assessments is often very short, as is the average lifespan of cyclists who get it wrong..

I propose a 'Kinell Gauge' mounted within each one-metre length of kerbstone along the road edge. This device would incorporate a microphone capable of recognizing the word 'kinell' as uttered by cyclists hitting potholes, and the volume of the shout, be it "kinell" or "KINELL" or KIN-NELL !!!" would be taken to indicate the depth of the hole, and a flag of similar height would pop up out of the top of the kerbstone at that point and remain on show for any cyclist coming along later. It would be of little use to the first cyclist of the day but that person will at least have the satisfaction of knowing that, if they do go under that bus, their experience will have been of benefit to countless others.

After a period of dry weather (say 24 hours?) the flag will automatically slide back down into the kerbstone from where it emerged, as in dry weather the pothole depth will be obvious.

Cyclists worldwide would need to adopt a standardised expletive. I have suggested "kinell!" but if the system caught on I daresay the cycling fraternity would opt for whatever is the most universally acceptable alternative. (The word I have used is normally uttered as three syllables, the first of which has been omitted for presentational purposes.)