h a l f b a k e r yThe mutter of invention.
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Very noisy motorcycles are disturbing to human beings
because of the loudness and the low frequencies being
emitted. Low frequencies over the eons have
represented
growls and roars from predators, thunder, rockslides,
crashing waves, and other threatening events. Humans
have been sensitized
to low frequency noises for survival
and they cause norepinephrine (flight or fight hormone)
and cortisol (worry hormone) to be elevated essentially
disturbing any tranquility or peace that we may have
happened upon, or just distracting from current thought
processes like girls. Combine this with 110+ dB and our
world is disturbed.
The invention to silence noisy motorcycles: A hand held
noise seeking missile with a half-baked potato warhead
that seeks out the exhaust pipe of a loud disturbing
motorcycle ridden by someone trying to say "Look at me
because I’m a loser and won’t admit it," which
accurately
places the potato warhead up the exhaust pipe. No
more
loud motorcycles. A potato silencer up the tail pipe.
Simple Solution. Silence is golden.
[link]
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// No more loud motorcycles. // |
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<gets out the slide-rule to calculate how long it would take for a halfbaker to find the 'sensitivity' control>... |
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Surely a hand-held missile containing ear-seeking ear plugs would solve the problem equally as well? |
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Some people enjoy the sound of motorcycles, and some do not. |
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Some people live in areas where motorcycles are to be heard, and
some do not. |
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To anyone who finds themselves hearing motorcycle noises that they
don't enjoy, can I recommend the Great Rann of Kutch? If you get right
into the middle of it, there's no way a bike will ever bother you again. |
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As someone who lives above a highway, I wouldn't be too
particular about which 'tailpipe' it went up when the potato
reached its target. |
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FYI, The Great Rann of Kutch is a seasonal salt marsh
located in the Thar Desert in the Kutch District of
Gujarat,
India and the Sindh province of Pakistan. It is about
7,505.22
square kilometres (2,897.78 sq mi) in size and is reputed
to
be one of the largest salt deserts in the world.[1] This
area
has been inhabited by the Kutchi people.[2]
Admittedly there would be no need for the Potato
Silencer there, but what about that guy down the street
that rattles the whole neighborhood and gets you mind
off of.....thinking about girls? He deserves the Potato
Silencer up his tail pipe. Silence is golden. |
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That's probably correct, as if you have gold, you can buy silence (or just about anything else). |
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// someone who lives above a highway // |
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Ah, yes, there's your mistake, right there. Yup. |
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// Some people enjoy the sound of motorcycles, and some do not. // |
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The obvious solution is to identify the ones who don't like motorcycles and alleviate their suffering by means of a long, thin, hardened steel spike driven in through one eardrum and out through the other, then into a large block of wood. |
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They may still complain, but the noise from motorcycles will probably not be high on their list of immediate concerns at that point. |
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I always assumed noisy motorbikes were the cheap ones. They don't bother me that much - I just generally think "what a twat" and move on. |
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// I just generally think "what a twat" and move on. // |
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The loudest ones generally leave me wishing I had a handful of
business cards for a local repair shop that specialises in exhausts. |
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Welcome to the 'bakery, by the way, [simplesol]. |
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Indeed, welcome to the 'bakery ... |
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The primo solution to noisy potatoes everywhere. |
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