h a l f b a k e r yIt's as much a hovercraft as a pancake is a waffle.
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For too long the humble postie has been neglected in the Olympics.....
Who wouldn't want to see a relay race with franking at every handover, pushing the envelope (as a team sport) and Olympic pass the parcel, of course.
Watch as international teams of postpersons put their stamp on the Olympics...
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Annotation:
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Inspired - no need for slow motion playback ... |
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You could also have mass participation - everyone sends a postcard, the first to be delivered gets gold medal. |
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Don't forget the humble customer, too...by introducing a
queue race. First to the front of a queue.... |
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I envisage a frantic and excited commentary as the
contestants slowly shuffle to the counter. |
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//the humble customer, too... a queue race// |
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Definitely. Teams could balance their strategy -
some team members would try to get to the front
of their own queue, whilst other team members
could be deployed in the classic role of "83 year
old lady who wants to send a chocolate bar by
recorded delivery, but doesn't have the full
address, the correct money, any wrapping paper,
or indeed the chocolate bar, and can she also buy
a TV licence for her dog" in order to slow down
members of other teams. |
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This is so nearly a good idea. I've played postal chess before and I was really looking forward to sending in my move for the postal 400m Hurdles. But no! Instead we have fat posties ambling around the track (& probably stopping halfway round for a cup of tea & a fry up) instead of the spotlight being on we fighting fit & fanatical armchair sports enthusiasts. Bah! |
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You forgot to mention that she's hard of hearing, the battery in her
hearing aid is running down, and she's forgotten her reading glasses. |
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//You forgot to mention that she's hard of
hearing// |
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The hearing's always fine when in conversation
with Ethel regarding her Daughter's swanky new
dish washing machine, and how Bernadette, the
one with the dog, lives near that shop that used
to be a laundrette but is now a... ooh I don't
know, I think you can get keys there... anyway,
Carol's expecting.... you know, Bob's eldest, with
the lisp.. not Carol, Bob, well, he used to, when I
babysat for him, now he's doing well with that
Chemical firm, I knew he would when he used to
play with lighter fluid, speaking about Bob have
you heard from Julie? I haven't seen her since that
funeral, lovely spread, shame about the pies... |
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<sound of running boots fading into distance> |
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Meanwhile, back at the work of our heroic postal workers (I have one in the family, so I have to say this)...getting the letter attached to the discus through the letterbox at 50 paces... |
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(replaces the javelin event as too many casualties while signing the recorded delivery docket) |
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I'm usually impressed by our postmen, but not at the
moment. I got one of those cards saying that import
duty was due on a parcel for me. I got the card
franked for the amount due, put it in the mail and,
two days later I received... the card. |
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Stamp licking event. Must be. |
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Why are they never strawberry flavour? And never a handy dog when you need one. |
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Where do they still have lickey-sticky stamps? |
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