h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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Given that today, 21 May 2011, is meant to be the day of The
Rapture, I hereby propose a post-rapture party in a city near
you. As soon as it rolls over to 22 May you are free to do a
little post-rapture looting of the possessions of those who've
been summarily removed from the planet.
Afterwards,
we'll all meet back at the central square and get
on with a little gluttony, sloth, greed, wrath, pride, vanity
and lust.
No admission if you previously attended religious ceremonies
in the honest belief you would somehow be saved by your
gang of imaginary friends.
Samoa
http://www.bbc.co.u...s/business-13330592
[hippo, May 20 2011]
2011 end times prediction
http://en.wikipedia...nd_times_prediction
[hippo, May 20 2011]
CNBC
http://www.cnbc.com/id/43110839
Ah right, here we go - it starts in American Samoa, who opted to stay where it was, on the US side of the International Date Line. The other bits of Samoa, by making the switch have given themselves an extra 24 hours. Sneaky! [hippo, May 20 2011]
Atlantic: Interview with loony nutter
http://www.theatlan...its-tonight/239177/
[hippo, May 20 2011]
[link]
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Where I am, it's still the 20th - are you still there,
[inf]? |
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This raises an interesting question. How does the
rapting hook up with the International Date Line?
Obviously, god will use Greenwich Mean Time, but
will he make a correction for British Summer
Time? Will he base the timing of his rapting on
geopolitically agreed time-zones, or on
astronomical time? Has he made the necessary
corrections for calendrical revisions? |
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Also, there are two islands somewhere which are
very close together but on opposite sides of the
dateline. I hope they have developed a good
industry based on rapture management; just move
to the eastern island the day before, and see if
your phone calls to the western island are
answered. If yes, all well and good and you keep
your stuff. If no, you've still got 24 hours to
repent. |
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I believe many such parties are planned, though they may not go as far as your suggestion, [infidel]. |
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I've heard many stories of folks planning to leave piles of clothing and shoes in public areas, and release helium-filled sex dolls into the sky. |
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[MaxwellBuchanan] Camping says it will occur at precisely 6 PM at the international date line, simultaneously planet wide. Set your clocks accordingly. |
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Looks like Tonga is right on the tomorrow side of the line. It's (at time of writing) 8:20 AM there now, so it appears the end of the world is a bit over nine hours away. |
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Oh great. That'll be something like 6am here. I'll
watch the replay. |
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Actually, he says it will roll around the planet, time zone to time zone, so Tonga will get it first, and then go from there. |
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This is going to be fun; the faithful get called home, and the rest of us divvy up thier stuff. I've always thought I'd make a great post-apocalyptic warlord... |
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Post-Rapture Yard Sale, more like…
Can someone
clarify for me what happens with Samoa? They've
only just changed from one side of the date line to
the other (see link) but I assume all of the logistics
and planning for rapturing people was done months
ago - will the organisers of the Rapture be able to
accommodate such a late
change? |
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Perhaps it is a trick, the raptormobil rolls up to Samoa and they all laugh and say "it was yesterday! Where were you?" |
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going to bed on the 20th wondering why they call it *rapture* |
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not if I see you first m'dear. |
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even if you bring a bottle. |
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Tapping fingers...what to wear, oh dear, what to
wear...??? |
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What do you take to a rapture party?
Rapture presents.
Not yet. |
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With all the self-righteous gone, can we do away with the morality laws? |
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//Rapture presents. Not yet.// |
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Odd. The ebiblefellowship site lists both May 21st and October 21st as the end of the world. Must be they want the world to end in the fall both for the southern hemisphere and the northern. If the planet end up as a wobbly hemisphere for 6 months you'll know why. |
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The rapture is now, the rest of us just get to hang
around a progressively deteriorating planet for
another five months. |
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A second ago there was explosions and flashes outside my window and I thought it was the rapture, but then I realized it's Victoria Day weekend and people are letting off fireworks. |
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Learn from my mistake and double check before stripping nude and running out into the street crying for the good lord to take you. |
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Hahahahahaha, best anno in a long time. [rcarty] |
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Oh bugger - have I missed it? |
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At around 6pm I was in the process of fixing my bike,
and pinched my finger rather painfully. Do you
suppose that was it? |
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Yeah, OK, fine... but what am I gonna do with this collection of dashboard statues? |
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(Bun anyway... <grumble grumble> [+]) |
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//what am I gonna do with this collection of
dashboard statues? // |
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Return them to the Easter Islanders. And for
goodness' sake buy a smaller car. |
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The Easter Islanders all got to go, last time. |
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hahaha [MaxwellBuchanan]. |
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No, dang it. I guess I have to put the lid down after all... |
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Hey, [infidel], are you gonna have to take back all those inflatable party favors? |
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It really DID happen! The problem seems to be that everyone was thinking on WAY too grand a scale. |
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Only one guy got raptured. ONE. Ironically, he couldn't stand it and came straight back because they were all blowing vuvuzelas up there. He couldn't get a wink of sleep. |
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Just hook them up to a vuvuzela and stand on them,
[Grogster]. Your neighbours will "enrapture" you
before you know it. |
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Terrible way to die, that … |
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You have just invented vuvuzela rap. |
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[bigsleep] You never know. Maybe they play Bach in
Heaven. |
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// the best we can hope is 90's chart material and the birdy song // |
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There's a law against shouting "FIRE!" in a crowded
space, isn't there? |
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(Shooting ranges and theatres which are actually on
fire are obviously
excepted.) |
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A crowded shooting range? |
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A crowded theatre filled with mimes on fire, serving as a
shooting range? Oh, YES … |
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Not sure about criminal liability, but I am think you
could make a fraud charge stick, since he accepted
donations given as a result of the prediction. |
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He has also caused losses. He shoud be tried. |
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I can see the headlines now: |
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"States Go Camping For Compensation." |
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"Camp Compo - Only the Pure Will Receive"
(Details on page 6) |
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The false prophet was a money grabbing scumhole. |
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I know his source material far, far better than he, it seems. |
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So many better things could have been brought to fruition. |
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Nice SLYT, [Ian Tindale].
I'd found {Feck} Divine Comedy's rendition of Rapture, but that mash-up's lovely |
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