h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Some computer users have a bizarre and repulsive habit of consuming food while using their device. This often results in nothing more than unsightly accumulations of organic material on the surface of the keys, but if the comestible is of a dry, friable nature - biscuits* and some other products are
the guilty parties - then the crumbs can infiltrate between the keys and form a dense layer between them and the supporting substrate.
In extreme cases this can result in one or more keys becoming partially or totally non-functional. Then the device needs something a bit more than merely inverting and gentle shaking, as the crumbs can amalgamate with other detritus to form a disgusting concretion. Removing this is an unpleasant task often involving dismantling the keyboard.
For inveterate nibblers, the answer is to invest in a device incorporating one of the new BorgCo positive-pressure keyboards. Many portable devices incorporate a cooling fan; the new design uses redesigned ducting to divert the airflow to an array of holes carefully placed under the keys.
By pressing a function key sequence, the user can switch their unit into anti-crumb mode, where the air forms a counterflow to push the contaminants away from the surface and cause them to be deposited elsewhere, where they can be more easily dealt with, or more likely simply ignored.
There are other similar ideas to this already posted, but we consider that this is sufficiently different to be innovative, as it prevents the accumulation of muck, rather than removing it after it's built up.
*"Cookies" in the less educated and articulate portions of your planet.
EZ dust Keyboard
EZ_20dust_20Keyboard
Prior art duly acknowledged [8th of 7, Oct 25 2020]
keyboard cleaning tray
keyboard_20cleaning_20tray
Prior art duly acknowledged [8th of 7, Oct 25 2020]
Self-cleaning keyboard
Self-cleaning_20keyboard
Prior art duly acknowledged [8th of 7, Oct 25 2020]
Keyboard detritus-eating insects
Keyboard_20detritus-eating_20insects
I like the idea of a colony of insects living on keyboard detritus [hippo, Oct 27 2020]
Anthill inside
https://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Hex
"Well, we think it might be able to do quite complicated maths. If we can get enough bugs in it." (Ponder Stibbons) [8th of 7, Oct 28 2020]
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Software to delete cookies is widely available. |
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That would pre-empt some aspects of the problem, but other crumb-releasing nourishments are Baked (or in some cases fried) and WKTE. |
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There goes my "Clean The Keyboard Using Diet Coke"
idea. |
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Interesting link, [hippo]. |
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"My laptop keyboard is full of crumbs etc. from eating over my keyboard. This makes some keys hard to press, and others "bounce"." - Aug 08 2005 |
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Obviously far from a new problem, and still seeking a solution ... |
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An edible keyboard would solve this problem as
the unexpected particles of trapped food will add
variety of both flavour and texture. |
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Why? Why did you have to make my stomach heave? |
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Keyboard could be made of mycelium, feeding on crumbs to grow extra connections. |
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Yes, but might not that risk creating some weird, evil fungus-computer hybrid that infects, parasitises and ultimately takes over any unsuspecting human that uses the keyboard ? |
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Yes, jolly good, carry on. |
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(There's probably a Dr. Who script in there if you can be prepared to do some work on the concept). |
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Could be a benificent fungus-computer hybrid that always strives to do good |
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<Nods, smiles, backs slowly away, makes note to tell doctor to increase [poc]'s medication/> |
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When does that sort of thing ever happen, even in fiction ? And certainly never in the real world, if there is one, which we increasingly doubt. |
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It's the // benificent .. that always strives to do good // part that we have credibility issues with ... |
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An excellent concept. A simpler design might be to have
the top half of the keyboard slightly separated from the
bottom half and spring loaded. Press firmly down on the top
and a bellow-like effect blows the keyboard clean. |
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Ants are good at clearing away crumbs. I wonder if it
would be possible for a keyboard to have a built-in
formicarium? |
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Your computer would end up full of bugs ...
.
<Obligatory Pratchett "Anthill Inside " reference /> |
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It's strange you should ask that, as I was sure the
idea of keyboard cleaning ants was already on the
hb. In fact I thought I might have posted it, so I
searched and didn't find it, but yet I believe it was
here??? Maybe it was one of the 50+ ones I lost a
few years ago or maybe it was someone else's but
it was here.....was it not? |
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^ Fourth link ? Silverfish ? |
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// blows the keyboard clean // |
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Like with a pyrotechnic gas generator ? Or ... hmm ... yes ... <Giggling/> |
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Today, the R & D team have a new keyboard-related project ... |
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The way I visualised it was a transparent perspex
keyboard (with the keys and all innards which can be
transparent made so), full of ants. |
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Of course it would need to be ants - if it was a hive, it wouldn't be possible to type anything comprehensible because the keyboard would have nothing but B's ... |
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//benificent fungus-computer hybrid that always strives to
do good// strives, yes. |
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This is the best explanation I have ever found as to why
Excel insists on converting fractions to dates, aggressively
ignoring leading zeros, and putting exponents on phone
numbers. |
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Now that you mention it, I'm (somewhat) surprised that
"phone number" isn't an available Number Format in Excel,
since there are a lot of "database" type functions, & a ph.
no. would be an obvious common entry. |
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If only there was somewhere on the Internet for
posting whacky new ideas like that |
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You'd probably just get a bunch of idiots endlessly arguing about politics, gun control, and climate change ... it would never work. |
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//isn't an available Number Format in Excel// |
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You just need to feed your mycelium keyboard with more and better quality crumbs, so that it can evolve better spreadsheet options. |
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... or alternatively, release ergotamine derivatives and other mycotoxins that are inhaled, or absorbed through the user's skin, causing them to hallucinate that the software they're using is adequate. |
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It worked well for IBM for decades ... |
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//if it was a hive, it wouldn't be possible to type anything
comprehensible// |
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Those devices are known as 'KeyBorgs'. |
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There's room in the Saimhain Wicker Man for you as well as [xenzag], you know ... |
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