Popeye The Opera

Our opera would begin in Sweet Haven where Olive Oyl (played by Angelina Jolie) laments in her ultra-soprano voice how much she is pining for her Popeye who is away in Afghanistan fighting a war. (tears out kerchief and bawls her eyes out to violin sonata).

Popeye would appear in Act Two looking stoic and brave whilst fighting off the enemy. (his part played by "the Rock".)

Bruto would be played by any number of real life Italian opera singers who are burly and have bass voices. He would be the lead villain who keeps Popeye engaged in dangerous war games.

J. Wellington Wimpy could be played by Bruce Willis or George Clooney. (fattened up of coarse). He would be Olive's sweet distraction while Popeye's away.

And some yet to be named precocious child star could play Swee 'Pea.

In the end they all die a tragic yet martyred death in hopes of saving their country from evil cave dwelling rebels.(played by evil cave dwelling rebels I guess).

Their bodies bloody broken and beaten lie draped over the Sweet Haven Flag. Lifelessly. To the sound of a U2 song played very s_l_o_w_.

Curtain and standing ovations ensue. Bravo bravo...etc. Children walk out of the theater sad but forever changed for the better. Loving opera.