h a l f b a k e r y"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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Say you're at the office, and its about a half hour after your big power lunch. Right. So you get that sinking feeling and head to the can. Land your tailpipe on this highly-advanced pot that will analyze incoming individual turds. It will then dispense advice/fortunes/commentary based upon the size,
weight, shape, and smell of your poop.
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The existing ones don't work. I once made the EXACT SAME type of poop in two different toilets -- one in Tokyo, one in Osaka -- and they gave me totally different fortunes. |
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[phundug] how can you be sure? Furthermore, they may well account for the time of day in their analysis, or atmospheric conditions. |
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Look, I was there, okay? I know what happened, and I know first-hand how misleading those fortunes were. |
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I see your next meal, progressing quickly down a large pipe, joining with other people's meals towards the collective. This will happen sometime in the next 24 hours. |
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"The stool! The stool!...A man can
regularly produce a copious and well
formed evacuation and still be a
stranger to reason!" |
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