h a l f b a k e r yBreakfast of runners-up.
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For those uncomfortable situations when someone
apparently important in their little corner of the world
starts yelling and carrying on in public, we bring you the
Pocket-Portable Self-Referential Personal Personnel
Identifier.
Now, when the screaming starts, you can just hold this
handy
gadget up near the screamer's mouth and it will
analyse voice, spittle and (if the screamer should grab
hold
of it) fingerprints then crossreference them all against
as
many databases as we can access.
In a short time you may well be able to tell the screamer
who they are, if that's what they are after, or tell the
police the screamer's identity, if the screamer becomes
violent.
And a very happy day to you too, Mr Ibrahim.
Prior art on the alliteration
Portable_20Personal...ivate_20Planetarium
Not that anyone owns the letter P [mitxela, May 13 2011]
"...Cuke, I am your father..."
http://www.youtube....watch?v=hVrIyEu6h_E
At 4:20... Good Luck! May the Farm be with you! [Grogster, May 13 2011]
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Annotation:
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why can't you just say "no"? |
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A Paddington-style Hard Stare can be even more effective than saying “no”. |
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Because it would be far more fun to have the person
identified AND branded a wanker than just to say no
to them. |
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Mr Ibrahim was definitely a wanker. I tried
everything to reason with him. Seems he's related to
some crimelord or sommat. Twat. |
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Whether or not one knows the identity of the screamer, one should always claim ignorance. Nothing hurts a diva more than inattention. |
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I have only had one experience of this kind; I was cut up by a mercedes with blacked out windows, pulled up beside it at the lights and banged on the drivers window on order to remonstrate. The window rolled down about 3" and the driver uttered the immortal "do you know who I am?" I responded "no, do you know who I am?" to which the driver responded "no". I said "good", deftly removed the door mirror with a single upward swipe and rode off. |
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I've still no idea who it was. Their ego probably remembers an unprovoked attack, motivated by jealousy. |
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"...Luke, *I* am your father. Search your Pocket-Portable Self-Referential Personal Personnel Identifier, you *know* it to be true..." -- Darth Vader, (Almost) Star Wars Episode V |
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"...Cuke, *I* am your father. Search your Pocket-Portable Self-Referential Personal Personnel Identifier, you *know* it to be true..." -- Darth Tater, (Almost) Grocery Store Wars [link] |
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Always good for a laugh, this halfbakery place. |
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