h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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Plastic surgery can go wrong. And, let's face it, when you're under the knife you're (hopefully) asleep, and at the mercy of someone whose sense of aesthetics you don't even know, let alone agree with.
So, instead of sillicone implants, why not have a subcutaneous plasticine implant instead? Not
only is it sculptable beneath the skin, but you can also work it into the places where it is needed. With a half hour or so of clever massaging you can turn that plasticine boob job into a Jennifer-Lopez-style ridiculously pert bum: if you're particularly massage masterful you could even divert some of that material up to your face and get those cheekbones you've always wanted. Adaptable for any occasion.
And if you're a guy? Well, as long as no-one wants to feel your squishy faux-muscles, you can look fantastic. You could get yourself a six-pack with less effort than it would take to actually walk down to your local off-licence.
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Annotation:
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Women would look a bit flat in the morning if they sleep on their chest, but I'm sure their SO's would love the task of putting them back into shape. |
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What am I talking about. Our world is way too image-centric. I won't bun anything related to plastic surgery. |
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(later) Others have convinced me that there are many benefits besides looks to this idea. Kind of want one myself. + |
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I thought you were talking about using plasticine to rehearse an operation. When I was trying to memorise transverse sections of the brain stem, I build a model of the thing with all the structures modelled in different colors. When my fellow students were doing their last minute cramming outside the exam hall, I whipped out my model and showed them what it looked like when I sliced through the model at certain places. Their eyes bulged as it dawned on them. It was the first time they understood the sections they had memorised. |
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Having read your idea; I'm gonna hurl (-) |
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never be bored again. I have just manipulated my left into a stegasaurus and the right into the Eiffel tower. +1 |
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"I <squish> just <squish> love <squish> to <squish>squish <squish> your <squish> breasts <squish> <squish, squish, squish, squish, squish...> |
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Left Breast: <squish, squish> "HELLOOooo Pokey!"
Right Breast: <squish, squish> "Gumby! Gumby!" <squish, squish, squish> |
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This one's called Wallace, and this one's called Grommet. |
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This is the first 'bakery idea that has actually made me shudder. I'm picturing the "Under The Skin Crawling Horribles" from Cronenberg's Shivers. Ugh. |
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Doesn't plasticine go crunchy after a while? |
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In some interview or other, I recall Baz Luhrmann explaining how Nicole Kidman got her impressive décolletage in "Moulin Rouge" - they started with her feet, and squeezed up the legs, thighs, and waist, until it was all 'up there'. Perhaps she was already plasticinised. |
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Wow. I'd have paid to have had that job. |
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bruising. pain. boob on shoulder. foreign objects imbedded. no. no. no.- |
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Bummer! [thumb] stole my response. |
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MikeOliver: plasticine doesn't dry out, which is the whole point. |
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scrunched-up newspaper implants were never going to work, Shz. |
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"My left breast is yesterday's Guardian, and the right is Wednesday's Sun" |
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"and my arse implants were what my chips were wrapped in on Friday night..." |
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<sound of dustmonkey sitting down>Crunch</sodsd> |
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What if it all sagged down to your feet? New shoes? |
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Ever wake up with the impression of whatever you were sleeping on pressed into your skin? You haven't seen *anything* yet... |
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I seem to remember most of my plasticine creations looking shit. |
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