h a l f b a k e r ySugar and spice and unfettered insensibility.
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Plain Cola
For when you feel like half-diet vanilla cherry coke | |
There is a container. Inside the container is cola, minus the caffiene, minus the coloring (is there coloring now?), minus the sugar. Around the inside edges of the container are teeny little pouches (jutting outward conveniently but with strong plastic on that side to avoid breaking into the outside
air) and weak, thin plastic on the inner side, so that if you push on one of them, the inner edge will rupture and whatever is in the pouch will shoot into the cola. There will be a number of pouches, clearly labeled -- several for sugar, several for nutra-sweet, one or two for caffiene, a couple for vanilla, a couple for cherry, various food colorings. Custumize at your leisure, then shake well.
Advertisements could feature a butler asking if someone wants "one lump or two", then pushing the requisite sugar pouches.
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Annotation:
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\\well known Bartender's trick:\\ |
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From a soda gun, (syrup + soda water), pour 7up, coke and gingerale into three separate glasses with no ice. |
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Blindfold the drinker and randomly have them try to identify which one they're sipping.More often than not they will guess wrong. |
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\\end well known Bartender's trick\\ |
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"shake well" then make sure to open quickly... |
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They already tried clear cola and it was a bust... no one
wanted it. |
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And what's the deal with vanilla in coke? It sounds really
nasty. Notice in their TV commercials mobsters have to
capture people and force them to drink the stuff... it's
probably the only way they can get people to drink it. |
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I'll just stick to the plain brown stuff thanks. |
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The problem with this idea, of course, is that you're paying for all the additives you don't want. Having the additives sold separately is baked; I've been making vanilla coke for years with ordinary cola and vanilla syrup. |
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(As for the soda gun trick, I'd suspect that it's because the same soda gun is used for all of them. I remember a soda fountain at the local pizza place growing up where anything you got tasted like root beer.) |
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"anything you got tasted like root beer" .. oh, you poor b@st@rd. Was it some sort of punishment ? |
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This makes me wish that I had a soda fountain of my own. Someone should start designing appliances for that purpose. Onward to google... |
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What's so horrible about root beer?? |
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I think this is a good idea. In fact, I very nearly posted the exact same idea some weeks back. Those who argue it would add cost are wrong. The contents of a can of soda are an insignificant portion of its cost, and I'm confident all possible concentrates could be included at an additional cost of less than 1 cent per can. The cost of the packaging might be an issue, but mass-produced, it might not. |
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In fact, the thing that appealed to me when I thought of this was that it could actually significantly reduce the cost, as it would cut down on the rapidly proliferating number of different flavors and additive options that producers must supply (reduce the number of SKUs), which IS a significant factor in the cost of a can of soda. |
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Ms. Miss, I'm glad to hear that your search for beverage satisfaction is so blissfully successful. But it's not at all hard to come up with examples of libational frustration that would be solved by Tlogmer's solution. If I liked Vanilla Coke (I haven't tried it, but I agree it seems suspect), I would want a caffeine free version. Some might want a diet version, and others might want a diet caffeine free version. If Vanilla Coke is just popular enough to support itself alone, the diet and caffeine free versions will never be offered. Personally, I like caffeine free Mountain Dew, but because it would cost too much compared to its popularity to offer it as widely as fully (and I do mean fully) caffeinated Mountain Dew, it is almost never found in vending machines, for instance. Those are legitimate problems that the idea would solve, even if one's preferences never vary. |
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The added simplicity and reduced cost of this approach virtually assures that it has been considered and dismissed by the soda producers. The reason may be technological difficulties, but I suspect it has much more to do with the producers' desire to promote the idea of the "magic" bound up in each brand's identity. Allowing the consumer to change a can from one identity to another by pressing a button would destroy the idea that the brand is hand manufactured from the saffron tears of Tibetan monks at the factory (or whatever), which is supposedly the main thing we all buy anyway. |
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Heh -- I'll admit the "shake well" instruction is a bit silly in retrospect; I don't relish the prospect of mixing with a stir, though. Here's a better idea: there's a sealed compartment at the very bottom of the container with the carbon dioxide; click a button and it's unsealed and the CO2 rushes into the drink, mixing everything in the process. |
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As for my soda intake, it fluctuates a lot; it's not uncommon for me to mix strange drinks at the fountain. Sometimes I just don't feel like the sugar of regular Sprite; but without searching for a store with Diet Sprite (which I've seen only a few times in my life) there's no way for me to have it. With this I could buy indiscriminately and wouldn't even have to leave the kitchen. |
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In Canada, nothing except colas are ALLOWED to have caffeine in. Mountain Dew does not, Root Beer does not (although Barq's may have found a loophole - not sure). You could always order some from us, beauxeault. |
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IRN BRU. You can hardly call that a cola. That has plenty of caffeine in it. I managed to buy a fantastic dual language bottle in this supermarket next to an antiques fair in Toronto. Far too small though. Not even half a litre. Tisk. |
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I've never seen rootbeer with caffene. I'd be surprised if
you had it in Canada. And it's horrifying to think of
MountainDew WITHOUT caffene as that's the only reason
most people drink it... it sure can't be for the taste...
Mmmmm... vegtable oil! |
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(+) This would make my life so much happier. |
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Plain Cola for the plains apes? Mountain cola, desert cola, coastland scrub cola. |
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No one has mentioned how bad this idea is for the waste stream. |
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Aluminum cans are pretty easy to recycle. The little bit of paint on the ourside and left over product on the inside are negligable. This idea would leave relatively huge quantities of waste in the can to be dealt with during recycling. |
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Takes sweetener. A can of cola has about thirty grams of sugar in it. If someone using your product picks the "diet" option. That thirty grams is going to remain in the can. If they drink the sugar they are only leaving 130mg of aspartame behind, trivial compared to the 14 grams of the can itself. Caffeine would add another 50mg. |
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this idea is prone to idiocy, as amazing as it is. think about all the college kids who would buy little caffiene packets and consume lethal amounts. looks like once again the morons have screwed everything up again. sigh.. such is human nature. (+) anyway for the brilliant idea |
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