h a l f b a k e r yFaster than a stationary bullet.
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Runners start at the top of the pit, descend to the bottom, and then run back to the top. First one to the finish line gets a large chunk of whatever was recovered from within the mine.
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And instead of pram-pushing urbanites hanging over barriers shouting nonspecific words of encouragement, on the pit mine marathon the spectators dress as ghoulish, etiolated untermenschen, hide in crevices and leap out at the competitors as and when they please. |
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...while waving pitchforks. The bottom of the pit should also be set on fire for this challenge.
Giving "a large chunk of whatever was recovered from within the mine" as a prize might disappoint some people - a few hundred kg of bauxite, for example, won't fit on most people's mantelpieces and isn't especially valuable. |
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Since many forms of mining utilise large and highly disruptive explosions, we have always viewed it as a significant sector of the entertainment industry. |
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An alternative pit mine marathon would be a biathlon affair, with the competitors required to dig / mine for 26 miles plus in a Stakhanovite frenzy and upon reaching the required distance, drop drill, turn tail and run up and out. The first one to the surface who isn't dead is the winner. |
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Why would mime's want to race down a hole? |
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To avoid the bullets (fired from supressed weapons), of course ... |
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