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Pick Up, Your Shit Is Calling You

 Tell the person who really needs to know.
  (+19, -2)(+19, -2)
(+19, -2) 		  [vote for,
against]

Your phone rings. You pick up.

"Hello. This is your car. Someone is fucking with me. Please come help me. Dial 1 if you want me to honk the horn. Dial 2 if you want me to deliver a threat on the PA system. Dial 3 if you want me to call the police. Please help me."

Well, fuck. What now?

There's a second call. You switch over.

"Hello. This is your house...."

—Eugene, Jul 08 2005

37BetterMotors http://37signals.com/better_motors.php
I get to link to this site yet again. Yay! [waugsqueke, Jul 08 2005]

Michael... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KITT
David Hasselhoff Technology [joeforker, Jul 09 2005]

37BetterMotors http://37signals.com/better_motors.php
I get to link to this site yet again. Yay! [wagster, Jul 10 2005]

TACNET http://www.evisteon.../tacnet/index.shtml
Law Enforcement Vehicle Technology. [reensure, Jul 20 2005]

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       Could get a little out of control, but good concept.   

       Maybe my car could tell me where I left it last night, too.   

       "You drunk bastard, I'm still out behind the bar!"
—daseva, Jul 08 2005
   

       That's getting into AI...that threat would be a voice recording of you (or a threatening friend I suppose). I suppose you could record a voice memo on your car's security system and then the choice to listen to it would be on that menu. There's no reason you couldn't call your car.
—Eugene, Jul 08 2005
   

       This is marginally baked. Our local police, particularly K-9 officers, leave their patrol cars parked for extended times with detainees or their duty dogs locked inside and engine running. Their laptops, and phones are alerted of engine failure or tampering. Pretty neat system -- worry-free operation.
—reensure, Jul 08 2005
   

       Well it'd be nice if it were available for civilian use.
—Eugene, Jul 08 2005
   

       OnStar just about does it all.
—reensure, Jul 08 2005
   

       Do cars really have to use such coarse language?
—crater, Jul 08 2005
   

       Only when you're mean to it first.
—daseva, Jul 08 2005
   

       Well I suppose you can turn on the language filter...though I wouldn't bother.
—Eugene, Jul 08 2005
   

       37Signals' 37BetterMotors page has this feature. It also suggests having the car send you emails to notify you of service needs.
—waugsqueke, Jul 08 2005
   

       How much would one of these talking- car-units fetch, second-hand?
—Basepair, Jul 08 2005
   

       You could just kidnap a jockey and stuff him in the trunk with a walkie-talkie. That's free.
—shapu, Jul 09 2005
   

       But then he can't see where your car is. And that will most definitely lead to coarse language.
—hidden truths, Jul 09 2005
   

       It seems quite likely all these new cars with bluetooth will start making appointments with repair people... leave your bluetooth cell phone in the car, and so on.
—joeforker, Jul 09 2005
   

       [shapu] that's only free if you are emotionally and morally bankrupt
—pooduck, Jul 09 2005
   

       I know this is in the car category but that's just because I couldn't find a "Product: Security" category...It'd be nice if your house did this also.
—Eugene, Jul 09 2005
   

       Press four to activate Rottweiler sound track.   

       //Someone is fucking with me.// Press 4 if you want me to fake an orgasm.
—baconbrain, Jul 10 2005
   

       Fantastic link [wags].I think this is definitely the way we're going.   

       Maybe it should be connected up to MIT's Context project, which builds a map of your activities based on location and phone use.
"Are you sure you want to park me here? Last time you went off drinking and forgot about me, and I ended up getting towed away. Shall I call you later?"
—moomintroll, Jul 10 2005
   

       But wags didn't post a link.
—waugsqueke, Jul 10 2005
   

       Yes I did...
—wagster, Jul 10 2005
   

       Sorry [waugs], typo. I like your link too...
—moomintroll, Jul 10 2005
   

       My PC based CCTV system at the school can detect movement and can send an SMS, or play an audio message, or send a video clip to my email. I think that's pretty standard.   

       Car: "Dave, Dave.. It's cold out here, Dave..."
—Ling, Jul 11 2005
   

       This idea is straight out of Knight Rider.
"There appears to be some hoodlum pinching my stereo, Michael...."
Can we have the swooshing red light in the grill as well??
—Minimal, Jul 11 2005
   

       Soon to be followed by 100GreatCarAlarmHacks.com
—DrBob, Jul 11 2005
   


 

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