h a l f b a k e r yMy hatstand runneth over
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Your nose on the side of your head, one massive eye in
the
middle of your forehead, one on top of your ear etc.
You'd take a picture, then click "Piccasoize" to try
different arrangements and
colorations of the various parts. I believe some
geometric
quantizing and stylization of
the
facial features would be necessary to keep it from
just looking like your head got stuck in a blender.
Very easy to tweak modern facial recognition technology.
Many apps
can discern a nose from an eye from an ear etc. This just
selects them, jumbles them around into about 30
different presets per feature so you'd get millions of
possible combinations.
I assumed somebody had probably thought of this but
couldn't find
anything on the web.
My 3rd favorite artist, Robert Williams
https://www.ebay.co...W-ART-/391819387366
A good collection of his is "The Lowbrow Art Of Robert Williams". [doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2020]
Uncubist filter
Uncubist_20filter
[xenzag, Apr 19 2020]
Chimp painting: good.
https://www.zmescie...e-by-chimps-532543/
[doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2020]
Chimp painting: horrible.
https://images.app....l/mdQgwU8zxLZPPSXEA
Looks like a friggin' drop cloth. BAD BONZO! [doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2020]
The Fallen Madonna
https://en.wikipedi.../The_Fallen_Madonna
By van Clomp. Very valuable, apparently. Much sought-after. [8th of 7, Apr 19 2020]
[link]
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Picasso was a jerk. If you look at his early- naturalistic- work, he could really, really draw, the equal of Dürer, Hals, da Vinci. A genius, no question. |
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And then he started doing angular, representational rubbish, and because a few critics said it was Art, it sold. |
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Even van Gogh could actually paint something that does look recognizably like a vase of sunflowers, or a lift-bridge, or a bunch of trees. |
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Don't encourage these idiots. |
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I accept that fishbone with no bitterness because I
understand where you're coming from. My three
artists
are Escher, Dali and some American you've never
heard
of, Robert Williams, all men with more talent at
painting
than I have. As a person with working class, even
dirt
poor roots, I'm wired to respect people that invest
in
some kind of skill that earns money, and have
great
distain for bullshit that earns more money. If I go
to a
football game, I want that quarterback to be
better than
me or it's really not very interesting. I want a
surgeon to
know more than I do about the area where he's
cutting
into me. I don't want a "post modern impressionist
surgeon" getting anywhere near me with a scalpel. |
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So I understand the anger at what I
call "Fuck you prol!" art. That is, art that's
designed to
anger people who work for a living and whose
livelihood
depends on having some kind of skill doing what
they do.
When an "artist" makes a living making fun of the
very
concept of skill, it's a celebration of the status of
the
elite. Jackson Pollock served the perfumed upper
class a
chance to look
down on the unwashed working class hoi polloi by
pretending to see
beauty in something a monkey squirting paint from
his
asshole could do. |
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I also understand that lots of the game of
overpricing
horrible crap that passes for art is a numbers
game. Buy
some fucked up looking finger painting for 1
million
bucks, get it "appraised" two years later for ten
million
bucks (pay the appraiser a hefty fee, after all, he
does
have an English / French accent.) then donate this
"ten
million dollar" work of "art" and take the tax write-
off. |
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That's the elegant and nuanced version of art
investing.
Most of it's probably just money laundering. |
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But there is practical application of crappy art.
Stand
facing a Picasso while standing next to a person
you want
to make look low class and stupid. When they say
the
obvious, something along the lines of "What the
fuck is
that?" turn and give them a disdainful look, maybe
even
raising one eyebrow and say: "It speaks to me."
Watch the
look of confusion on their face. Feels good don't it?
So it
can serve some practical application. Making
people feel
better than other people. |
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On the other hand, it must be said that nobody's
talking
about well executed paintings of pretty flowers
are they?
Maybe a little controversy sells eh? |
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I know some blokes who do this for free, in fact they pay
you .. no wait! |
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Sorry, no .. they don't pay you, it's if you don't pay them back
.. now
what were they called again? something to do with fish? |
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Oh yes that was it, loan sharks. |
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I like that. "Hey, yaz pay us dat fuggin money or we
duz a Picasso job on ya face!" |
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The three artists you cite have unmistakable technical ability and unique styles. Their work may not be to the taste of all who view it, but the skill is clear. |
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If all they're capable of is throwing paint at the floor, then fair enough, if some idiot will pay for that. |
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But for an artist with genuine skill to betray their talent by producing rubbish is unforgiveable. |
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That's the thing though, to get yourself established as an
'artist' in the first place you have to prove you can do it,
consider it the apprenticeship stage, only then after they're
established can they get away with selling rubbish. |
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Unless they're Tracey Emin of course. |
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Still haven't figured out how she managed to bypass all of that
& go straight to the rubbish. |
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If you don't like the results of cubism, or find them
too difficult to understand (like 8th) then you can
undo them with the uncubist filter - see link.
doc - sp arrangement |
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We do not consider the results of cubism to be a useful representation. We understand it perfectly; it's an artistic statement of "Oooh, I have found an easy way to make money from idiots". |
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Thank you xen, I was being a post modernist
speller. |
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(bun for your Uncubist filter BTW) |
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I was always surprised that animal paintings
weren't more
popular. There's actually a variation in quality, just
like with human paintings. Some appear to grasp
the concept of theme while others are just a load
of
Pollocks. |
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// surprised that animal paintings weren't more popular. // |
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It's a very difficult technique; the animals usually don't keep still, and the paint doesn't work well on fur. |
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Reptiles are easier as they can be chilled to make them torpid. About the only mammals that are easy to paint are elephants (if you have a stepladder) and sloths (which move very slowly). |
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Many years ago, one of my students got permission
from a farmer to paint his cows. He went into a
field and painted large coloured circles on the
sides of some of his cows. There was trouble and
he said he was following instructions from his tutor
at art college. |
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Were they all female, or were there any male ones ? Making a bull ring might have been illegal ... |
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Making a bull ring is really quite difficult, we tried it once but
even flash freezing only produced a kind of dull tinkle when
we struck them. |
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You need exactly the right type of clapper; sadly, they don't seem to make them any more. |
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I'm not sure even the right clapper would be much use, seems
you only get one go & it leaves all those shattered frozen bull
shards on the carpet, some of them melted b4 we found them
all, we'll put down plastic first next time. |
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The Borg are mighty passionate about realism in human art -
who'd a thunk it? Bun - just because I would use it at least
once before I uninstalled it to make room for another silly
app. |
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We're not "passionate". We just consider that a picture of a "Fallen Madonna with Big Boobies" <link> should be recognizable by the correspondence between the image and the text, rather than being a blue-and-red daub resembling a Dover Sole, with two eyes on the same side, surrounded by random splotches of primary colours resembling blobs of toothpaste. |
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I get mixed up between Skewed and 8th of 7. |
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<Pings [Skewed]'s proximity transponder/> |
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Ah yes, Van Klomp's great masterpiece. The light still falls
delicately across her face even after being hidden in a
sausage. |
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No, no, you're getting them confused. Van Klomp painted the famous "Van Gogh Painting 'The Cracked Vase with the Big Dasies'", currently exhibited (by appointment only) in the coal shed of the Town Hall in Walmington-on-Sea. The painting of The Fallen Madonna, in the Town Hall in Nouvion, is by van Clomp (allegedly). It has been examined repeatedly by experts, but mass-spectrometric analysis of the lingering odour of sausage that clings to it has been inconclusive. While it resembles the composition of knackwurst, it shares many of the component peaks of
Bologna sausage, though how an Italian comestible arrived in a small french town in wartime is unclear. Further, traces of hydrocarbons suggest that at some time the canvas was exposed to an intense level of exhaust fumes from a small German armoured vehicle. It may be a forgery ... the provenance is very doubtful. |
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My eyes appear to be where my nose was and it's now down
around my chin. I just saw this, and that's my excuse for not
getting here sooner. |
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That and the fact that my p.c. quietly died on Saturday. For
good. |
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Laptop donated by a friend coming Tuesday. |
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Gotta have that laptop or it's not really a life. I've got 3
computers in case 1 breaks so I can have 2 while the 3rd
one is getting replaced. Everything my dad said about
computers when I was a child was true. (He was a
member of the Homebrew Computer Club along with a
couple of Steves that started a fruit inspired computer
company.) "Every house will have a computer." "This is
called a pocket calculator, I paid $325 for it from Texas
instruments. Someday they'll be so cheap they'll pass
them out as advertising giveaways." and when he took
me to wait in line to see something called "a video game"
being introduced at Stanford, that I got to play for all of
ten seconds after waiting in line for a half hour, he said
"Someday all the kids will be playing these.". |
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How is it that your parent is not therefore worshipped as a God by primitive* humans ? |
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One other thing, [doc] ... if you post pics of yourself that have gone through the "Picasso" image filter, can you label them "before" and "after" to avoid confusion ? |
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*Those would be the hair-covered grunting proto-hominids from Oakland. |
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Dad couldn't care less about mass approval. If people had
ever started to revere him as a god he'd have told them to
get the hell off his lawn. |
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Not merely Divine, but capable of humility. Not characteristics normally found in close association. |
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See 8th? Deep down you're a really good guy. |
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Don't worry, I won't tell anybody. |
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Thanks, we don't want it to get out. |
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There’s a phone app called Prisma that makes some headway toward this end. Not Picasso exactly, but a number of photo mods that could be tweaked to do what [Doc] suggests. It was free originally but now requires subscription for anything interesting. |
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Hmm, wonder if it’s making any money? Maybe be I missed an opportunity. Oh well. |
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