Personal Narrator

I've always wanted my own personal narrator. Someone that I could hire who would follow me around and narrate my actions and implied body language. It would have to be someone well spoken and creative, perhaps someone with a background in writing.

"He turns up the glass of cold cider and sips from it, savoring the captured taste of an October breeze."

In social situations it could enhance your personality as the people with you would have audible sense of what you are doing/thinking as well as a physical sense. (Hey, the narrator works for YOU so you can have it exaggerated.)

"He reaches for the pitcher of beer, and makes as if to fill his cup, but notices his friends are also in need of refreshment and selflessly fills their cups leaving only foam for himself. What a guy!"

Times when you are too emotionally torn to speak it would provide some idea of what you are going through to those that need to be informed.

"He unwraps the burger and is greeted with the nefarious smell of onion. Onion that he has asked to be left off. He approcahes the counter and eyeballs the attendant, the burger now a twisted broken thing in his fist. The cords stand out on his neck and his eyes become bloodshot as visions of chainsaws dance in his head."

Imagine how it could enhance your "love life".

"He turns off the lights and approaches the bed in the pitch black darkness. He disrobes and... Holy cow look at the SIZE of that thing!"

You could record special occasions and keep them as an audio record or diary. Use it as a tool for building self esteem. Act out parts for a play or novel you're writing to get ideas. Give an added twist to sign language, or a mime's companion. There are a lot of things this could do for a person.

Just don't take your narrator into the john...