h a l f b a k e r ySuperficial Intelligence
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Invest in the “future”, today! You can contribute any
amount of money you choose to this
fund*, and it will pay a guaranteed return of at least
100,000% upon the discovery of any
working perpetual motion machine or over-unity device. A
thousand bucks will make you a
millionaire!
Our investment
team is on the forefront of perpetual
motion research**, and guarantees that
it will be the first to acquire the rights to any such device
within seconds of its verified
existence. Your money will go towards the production and
marketing of this device, which
shall immediately pay unprecedented dividends while
solving the world's energy problems
forever!
So if you really think unlimited free energy is doable, but
you don't have the time and energy
to build one yourself (or maybe you just lack a shaggy
white beard, hick accent, and garage
to tinker in), why not put your money where your mouth is?*** You'll be
laughing all the way
to the bank!****
* Initial investments are non-refundable.
** And by “the forefront of perpetual motion research”, we
mean “a beach in Tahiti”.
*** Presuming that your mouth is, inexplicably, in our
pockets.
**** Investor may or may not actually laugh for all or part of
the way to any specific bank.
See disclosure form for full details.
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Annotation:
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Boy are you going to look silly once I eliminate the remaining 23% of inefficiencies in my hydromagnetic dooblefitzer. |
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//*** Presuming that your mouth is, inexplicably, in our pockets. |
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There are stranger things etc, unless you mean that in Dr Lecter stylee. |
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//I think this may be a scam// |
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It is 100% legitimate. I assure you that you will begin
receiving returns on your investment within half an
hour of the discovery of a working perpetual motion
machine. This arrangement is backed up by an
ironclad contract. |
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//Alternatively, you could invest in my beer fund// |
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Ah, yes, you may be interested in our “Increased
Liquidity” line of investment products. |
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Hmm, that gives me an idea.... |
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This is basically how the biotech industry operates
on a daily basis. |
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This is basically how university spin-outs work, too. |
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Protip: don't sell your soul to Maxwell's demon. |
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It's not that we are actively pursuing the invention of
any such device. We're just keeping our finger on the
pulse of the current state of perpetual motion
development, ready to swoop in and immediately
acquire the rights to any such device as soon as it's
demonstrated to work. |
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The investment fund will nevertheless pay out any
returns guaranteed to investors at that point. |
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And to head off your next question: At that point, we
figure that everyone will be far too busy enjoying a
post-scarcity economy to be bothered with such
mundane concerns as money (though we're not exactly
going to put that in the advertising brochure). |
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This must be a scam, simply because such devices have already been discovered and proven to work. Just because the authorities and the so-called scientific establishment are supressing the information, and persecuting the inventors, does not mean that the devices themselves do not work perfectly. |
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Yeah [pocmloc]. It is always a good idea to show some
sceptism when discussing these matters. My P/M machine
has been suppressed by the Establishment for years but I
have persevered. It is now ready to go but I need your help
to acquire the final kilogram of gold it requires to function. |
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The good thing about it is that once it is running I intend to
use the large amounts of free energy it produces to drive
my alchemy device. Then you can get your gold back and
more. |
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This idea reminds me a bit of The Amazing Randi's "Million
Dollar Challenge" for the demonstration of paranormal
powers under scientific conditions. We can win that too
once I transmute enough gold to open my portal to the
spirit world. |
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Is "perpetual motion" not synonymous with "non-
stop crap"? |
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