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People Plow

Bye to human traffic
 
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Everyone must know of at least one place in or near their location that suffers immensly with human traffic. I live in a busy coastal city in the UK which boasts three shopping centres, one of which is an impressive size. All I want to do is get from one side to the other, or from one side to a shop. If everyone else wanted this, I'd have no problem.

However, when you constantly have to avoid those people who just can't make up their mind ("should I go left or right .. or walk backwards into that guy behind me?"), people who just want to stand (or sit!) in the most stupid of places, like entrances to doorways (then they look at you as if it's your fault) .. or those who know there is no way in hell they can dart between you and that guy infront, but do so anyway, causing you to collide with them or fall over your own feet trying to stop .. this is where I draw that line of 'tolerance'.

On goes the people plow (not pushed by the user, merely operated), *smack*smack*smack* .. good riddance to mallrats, idiots and the eternally undecided.

Note: I've just had a long hard day, this is written mainly in anger and frustration, and I may delete it later when the red mist clears.

kuupuuluu, Jun 01 2005

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       Funny, I endure the same thing at 40-110 KPH on the four lane between work and home everyday.
Soterios, Jun 01 2005
  

       The correct solution to your problem is the widespread adoption of the Slide-o- Hat. This is a hat, constructed out of Perspex (Plexiglass), to be worn by everyone entering the mall. The hat is about 20-25 feet wide, and the gently- sloping brim almost reaches the ground. The hats are imperfectly made (or imperfectly matched to the height of the wearer), so that some brims reach to within about half an inch of the ground, others only to within about an inch.
When two such hat-wearers collide, there is no problem; they just keep going, and the wearer of the higher-brimmed hat will simply glide up and over the wearer of the lower- brimmed hat, and both parties will continue on their way cheerily.
Basepair, Jun 01 2005
  

       Please don't delete.   

       But really, you could just add some purpose to your stride.
zeno, Jun 01 2005
  

       I'd like to see more defensive driving skills hammered into the skulls of beginning drivers, and honed with periodic retests. Scenario, you're blazing through a mall making fair time, when an undecided knucklehead blocks the lane. Check your oncoming, and quick turn to the side. Sudden, simultaneous appearance of mom's baby in a cart and old person on the arm of young helper. No where to turn ... no time to stop ... hope to keep an appointment dashed! Scores at conclusion of test.
reensure, Jul 03 2005
  


 

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