h a l f b a k e r yThis ain't rocket surgery.
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This way if you wanted to prove you had been somewhere like for
an
alabi for a case, then you could opt in to the nationally networked
penis database and associate your social security number with
your
penis history. But if you preferred privacy then you could remain
annonymous, but the
system would still recognize that the same
penis had been here or there. The government could experiment
with this only in public restrooms. It would be less controversial
than the national face recognition database that you know they
are
already keeping.
You know they already have this.
I guess the system they already have probably associates only
what is exclusively public information - that the same penis or
face was in one place at a certain time and then another place at
another time, and creates a history based on this information and
does not associate it with private information.
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Annotation:
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Big Brother is watching you pee. |
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Isn't this gender discrimination? Every yoni is unique as
well, and plenty of women need alibis. |
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Bun only if there are lice screens in public parts of the building. |
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Are there enough combinations of characteristics to make an ID? What parameters would be recorded? There's size, color(s), bend, urine spray radius, foreskin status... Peeing penii are not erect enough to get accurate vein pattern measurements. |
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Are penises unique enough for this to work? |
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<glances crotch-ward and whispers>
"Don't you listen to them Richard, you're special, and wonderful, and gosh darn it people like you." |
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Speaking only for myself, I'm absolutely certain that my
gentleman thomas is without identical peerage. |
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Mayhaps one of the Lady 'Bakers will care to confirm the
correlation between their glorius portal and a snowflake,
i.e. delicate, beautiful, and no two alike.* |
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It isn't without good reason that Hinduism places the
identity of the soul within the First Chakra. |
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*I'm actually being serious. We Pagans have certain views
on such things. |
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Meh, it would work as well as current facial recognition does, which means that to make sure that I'm not recognized all I'd have to do is put a glasses and a mustache on my unit. |
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And if you've read William Gibson's latest work, you'd know that the database has a built-in opt out, and get the tatoo. |
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Do you mean 'Distrust That Particular Flavor', which I don't
have yet, or is there something from 'Zero History' that I've
forgotten about? |
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They're already doing this, don't you know? |
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This sounds like the setup for some sort of porn-parody
spy thriller. You know, like instead of replicating the
target's fingerprints, they need to get a cast of his
penis somehow... and luckily, secret agent Jaynee
Bondage (of MI-69) is just the lady for the task. |
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Surprised this isn't a plot device in an Austin Powers movie. |
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