h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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The urban train system in London is appalling. The trains are
hideously overcrowded, always late, and are the most expensive
in
the entire world. In short the service is totally hopeless. The time
has come for a radical rethink and to look to cities like
Copenhagen
where more than 50% of
all journeys are on bicycles.
London could achieve similar benefits if the existing railway
network
was paved over and thereby converted into a two way cycle
highway
system. Rickshaws could transport the less able or anyone else
who
wanted to pay for some extra creature comfort. There would be
zero
accidents as total segregation of cycles from pedestrians and
motorized traffic would be the norm.
London has lines running like veins into every part of the capital,
particularly to those commutator areas where the current train
service is so bad. The savings in line maintainance etc would be
reinvested in infrastructure appropriate to cyclists. The day of the
train for London is over, and it's ended in failure. It's the perfect
moment to let
the
bicycle take over.
Murata, the humanoid robot that bicycles; suitable for replacing rickshaw drivers worldwide
https://www.youtube...watch?v=Srwk-i5aXRQ
[beanangel, Dec 15 2016]
Two hours a week. Makes you better.
https://www.newscie...with-better-health/
Mental health benefits: 2 hours a week in nature [Frankx, Sep 30 2019]
Underground - Overground
https://en.wikipedi...e:Whitechapel_1.JPG
Whitechapel station [Frankx, Oct 01 2019]
Underground is overground
https://en.wikipedi.../London_Underground
45% of Underground is in tunnels [Frankx, Oct 01 2019]
[link]
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// London is appalling // |
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Tell us something we don't know. |
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This is a most excellent scheme. Once operational, the tubes will be packed with cyclists - the ideal time to shut down all the ventilation and open the cans of Zyklon-B. |
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The organic remains can be incinerated, and the bicycles shredded and recycled as automobiles. |
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By paving over the stairs and escalators, you'd have a system of impossibly steep ramps that operated as a one-way valve for cyclists. In an attempt to escape, cyclists would trickle down through the tube system until they either a) find their way to the western end of the piccadilly line and escape at the bit where it comes out at ground level, or b) reach the very bottom, probably around westminster, where a kind of cyclist sump would accumulate, necessitating some sort of bilge pump to empty the cyclists out at ground level in a controlled manner, perhaps a fountain of cyclists spewing out of an ornate statue, only to dribble back down into the tubes again. |
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They would have to be ground down to a puree before being pumped to the surface, but essentially yes. |
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I think they should make an "Asimo-like" rickshaw robot [link] to exclude humans from risky activities. Also they could go really fast, and avoid humans. |
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I was more thinking of the overground lines, but yes the
underground system would be possible as well. |
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// . The savings in line maintainance etc would be
reinvested in infrastructure appropriate to cyclists.
// |
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Initially individual licensing and identification
system; speed cameras and automatic fine mailing
system (auto execution system, if 8th of 7 has
anything to do with it). But when that becomes
profitable: traffic wardens and pay-for-parking
zones. |
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// infrastructure appropriate to cyclists. // |
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// infrastructure appropriate to cyclists. //
(ignoring [8th]'s comment, which is born of
ignorance) - some kind of EM pulse to disable the
smartphone of pedestrians near roads so that they
don't step out into the road, eyes fixed on their
screens, into the path of my bicycle, as happened
earlier this week |
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What, there's something better than a gibbet for lynching cyclists now ? Who knew, huh ? |
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Hang on....are people on bicycles pedestrians? |
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After they've been knocked off and they and their bike run over, yes. A human on crutches counts as a pedestrian. |
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Technical challenge for the week: how to program a drone to follow [8th] around, making that funny, graunching "scring-scring" bicycle-bell sound, while remaining out of his line of sight. [+] |
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Hey, throw in an occasional extra "Miaow ! " for extra nastiness, why don't you ? |
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I approve - Chairman Miaow! |
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Please rename the idea. With a name like Railway to Bikeway
it would be clear and immediately half apparent what this
idea is about. |
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eh - no! ha. Extra clarity is for the sensible,
practical bakery. |
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Lovely idea [+]. I'm very pro-rail, but this is nice in many ways. |
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... or re-allocate them (the rail routes) exclusively to autonomous vehicles. |
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// Murata, the humanoid robot that bicycles // |
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Murata is the company's name. The robot is Murata Boy,
IIRC. There's also Murata Girl, who unicycles (or, more
accurately, is a unicycle and unicyclist in one). |
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It is time to get a plan for when the last London
resident has been knifed or shot, re-wilding? |
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//look to cities like Copenhagen// |
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If someone hasn't said it already, Prague, it had (what seemed
to me) a fantastic tram & underground system back in 96, no
idea what the natives thought of it & couldn't say what it's like
now though. |
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// when the last London resident has been knifed or shot // |
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That gives a rather biassed view of the causes of mortality ; many are killed off by the so-called "health" service; they expire in scores in waiting rooms, on trolleys in hospital corridors, but most frequently in the comfort* of their own homes while waiting for "urgent" treatment. |
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Plus there are numerous suicides, but london does that to people. |
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*more comfortable than sitting on a hard plastic chair in a cold waiting room illuminated by flickering fluorescent tubes while wondering which particular infectious diseases the other occupants of the area may at that very moment be transmitting to you via airborne or droplet infection, or even physical contact. |
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Hmm, cheerful stuff. But not untrue. |
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We really could do with a system that puts health
and happiness higher on the list of national
priorities. |
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Much as I believe in public transport infrastructure
(i.e. more trains) I like this idea- exercise and
“being outdoors” are hugely beneficial to
wellbeing. Probably evidence for that, if I get
around to it. |
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Linked. 2 hours a week in nature. Better. |
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I don't think underground tunnels count as "outdoors" for
health purposes,
though you might be able to make them count partially by
installing trees
and hedges along the sides (a bit like the Garden Bridge),
and daylight-spectrum lighting. |
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...actually, more than half of the Underground is overground. |
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...and a fair portion of the Overground is underground. [links] |
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And at Whitechapel station, the Underground is over the Overground. |
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[...strains of "The Wombles"...] |
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In Calgary, we have only one intra-city passenger train system, called
the CTrain. It was originally all above-ground, but now it has some
subterranean stations. Anyway, because we didn't name it after which
side of the ground it's on, we don't now have to put up with it having a
poorly-fitting name or go through the hassle of renaming it. |
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