Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Fewer ducks than estimates indicate.

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Pedal powered paddlewheelair

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Climbing into the cockpit the two, fifteen foot, towering donuts to either side of you seem a bit daunting until you see the ripple your motion causes undulating the curving rubber membrane which houses the helium they tell you, will exactly offset your weight.
It's still hard to believe that this contraption will hover with you in it, but it's a little late for second thoughts as the stay pin is released, the burly guy to your left wearing the Ground Crew t-shirt shouts, "Pull back and pedal ya dipshit." "Pedal!"
Yanking the joystick towards your midriff causes the louvers directly in front of you, connected to the outer perimeter of each donut by a cable activated, tire chain looking series of retractable flaps, to begin pushing surprisingly large volumes of air downwards.
The cockpit you are strapped into is actually just a rigid sling resting on the lowest inner edge of each torus, upon two curved saddle shaped grapples with flexible rollers, holding your craft a mere two inches above the inner tubes. Your peddling causes them to turn and therefore the donuts to either side of you to rotate.
pressing the joystick to the left causes the flaps on the topside of your left torus to rise but the lower flaps on the right to engage and you begin spinning in a stationary circle, and forward on the stick has only your rearward louvers opening. You lose your meager altitude at a frightening rate but quickly regain it before taking out the ground crew.
Now, to figure out the paintball guns before heading up to the *fair game* altitude of the coliseum.

Belated sketch. http://s68.photobuc...l&imgAnch=imgAnch23
Look out below! [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 09 2005, last modified Jul 11 2006]

[link]






       Nice +
bristolz, Mar 18 2004
  

       // Your peddling causes them to turn... //   

       What are you selling?
waugsqueke, Mar 18 2004
  

       Damn spell checkers. Fixed.   

       You definately get a bun for adding the paintball guns!
scubadooper, Mar 18 2004
  

       This one cries out for an illustration. Nice.
krelnik, Mar 18 2004
  

       Croissant.
finflazo, May 01 2004
  

       You got it [Krelnik], hopefully better late than never.   

       Nice idea - what's the login [2fries]?
wagster, Jan 09 2005
  

       Ok, no login now. Thanks for the link [tiromancer], I didn't try it though.   
      
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