Pasta Pronto

How many strands of spaghetti does it take to make 1 cup of pasta ( the usual recommended serving amount)? Am I supposed to boil some pasta and then measure? I certainly don't want to break my spaghetti up into small bits to measure. How many fettuccine noodles? Sure there are other devices for this (see link) but a board with holes? How do I use it? Finally a solution for the masses!

In the kitchen there is a medium sized appliance, about 4 feet tall and 4 feet wide. It takes up some of that dead space we all have so much of. At the top are approximately 6 clear canisters, about 1 foot in height. These are filled with strand pasta (I’m sorry but there is another appliance in the corner for macaronis and farfalles and the like). Directly beneath these waits one clear, empty canister of the same height as the pasta canisters above, only with a metal top. When the cook reads in the recipe the amount of pasta needed he moves to the appliance and touching the LED screen chooses linguine: 4 cups. The top canisters swirl coming to rest with the requested pasta’s canister in the forefront, resting over a plate with adjustable holes which in turn is over the removable clear canister. The inner working of the machine access the linguine files and discovers that linguine (particularly the linguine bought for this kitchen) is usually 1 millimeter in width and 5 microns in depth and that 20 strands of linguine makes one cooked cup. The plate dilates some of its holes ( 80 of them, for a more exact count) into the right circumference and the solid bottom the linguine canister swings away. The upper canister vibrates a few moments, shaking some strands into the previously calibrated linguine shaped holes. These fall through in to the receiving canister when the weight in the receiving canister reaches 16 ounces (or whatever the weight would be) the vibration stops, and the solid bottom swings back into place. The cook reaches up and removes his canister of linguine and boils it; resulting in 4 exact cups of cooked linguine.