Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Passive-Personal Trainer

 Let the G-force lead you to better health and vigor
 
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Are you fed up with your sedentary lifestyle and tired, scrawny body? Has sitting at a desk all day has given you a flabby frame devoid of energy? Well, the passive-personal trainer in two parts is ready to revolutionize your existence.

The main component is a special mat to be placed under your wheeled office chair. The secret is its slight incline. With the thicker edge (1” higher!) towards the desk, you’ll constantly be fighting gravity to stay close to your work. The second part is a 10 pound weight that is clamped under the swivel chair’s forward edge. Together with the incline, it’ll try to turn you away from the desk.

After comprehensive scientific tests and use of cubicle test dummies, the findings have been nothing short of astounding! An average of ten steps and three upper body twists per minute, over 6000 movements per day, burned mucho calories and strengthened the legs, arms, back and stapedii.

The most amazing aspect, as you daydream about becoming Governor of California, is that you won’t even be aware that you’ve been exercising.

—FarmerJohn, Dec 23 2003

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       Phew, I'm exhausted just reading the idea. I think if I had to combat at massive 1" incline just to reach my desk I'd either (get somebody else to) move my desk around or just change jobs. I do like the idea of exercising without realising it, but can't I just be hypnotised into thinking I'm asleep or something? Surely if I were fighting the incline I'd be aware that I was making an effort?
—dobtabulous, Dec 23 2003
   

       This is excellent, FJ.
—waugsqueke, Dec 23 2003
   

       Don't change a thing, Gov.
—FarmerJohn, Dec 23 2003
   

       Install a spring in your monitor, that makes it swivel up every few minutes. A hundred reps of reaching forward to readjust it, and you'll have the strong upper arms of which you've always dreamed, and firmer, squarer shoulders that rucksacks don't slip down anymore.
—friendlyfire, Dec 23 2003
   

       How about a keyboard suspended just above lap level to help with the upper body as well ...
—Letsbuildafort, Dec 23 2003
   
      
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