h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Instead of the traditional backpack parachute, I want a pair of pants with a ripcord. The parachute will be stowed in compartments around each leg and when you rip the cord, around you will bloom a magnificent er.. parachute.
The pants are the harness, as well as the parachute and the back-pack.
This style of parachute is more wearable than the traditional type, might come in handy if you live on the top floor. Almost undetectable (a bit bulgy), you can wear the pants anywhere.
(??) Fear of Parachute Pants
http://www.geocitie...parachutepants.html
Warning. Images not suitable for children under 13. [roby, Oct 21 2004]
Parachutes for aerobatics
http://www.butlerpa...es.com/aerobati.htm
Where the seats are hard and the strap tensions high. [bristolz, Oct 21 2004]
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Annotation:
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And you land conveniently head-first. |
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Picture lederhosen but the straps over the shoulder are the strings attached to the 'chute. |
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In some aircraft (mostly single seat fighters) the pilot sits on his parachute pack. We think that both the Hurricane and the Spitfire used this configuration. The parachute is an external pack, though; not part of the trousers, and the harness is a conventional webbing one. |
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I think that the ripchord could be attached to a pole
projecting from the rear of the pants, this would make it
easy to grab in any situation because you wouldn't be
sitting down for obvious reasons. |
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Why is this more wearable than a traditional parachute? Seems bulky packs strapped to my legs would make it hard to walk. |
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Parachute hat, oh no, wait, that might be dangerous... |
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Parachute cargo pants would be good for parachuting supplies at the same time. |
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I would think that most people would try to avoid a situation where you would need a parachute in the first place. How many people when getting dressed in the morning say "Hmmm... today might be a good day to jump off a building, better wear my parachute pants." |
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//How many people when getting dressed in the morning say "Hmmm... today might be a good day to jump off a building, better wear my parachute pants."//
I would! |
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ok, ok, so I was wrong... it does sound like an interesting lunch break though... |
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Parachute pants... hmmm... so THAT'S what M.C. Hammer was wearing! |
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You'd have to change the name. There are still too many retro-fashion-nistas who will be confused and buy them for clubwear. How about "Pants with a Parachute"? |
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Did you bring your reserve 'chute or are you just pleased to see me? |
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Shirt by Armani, Shoes by Gucci, Sunglasses from Ray-Ban, Trousers by Martin Baker ..... |
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Is that your ripcord or are you just happy to see me? |
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// are you just happy to see me // |
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It's the ripcord. Really, it's just the ripcord. No-one's ever, ever happy to see you, not even your mother. You're the sort of person Jehovah's Witnesses cross the street to avoid. You've made it into the Guinness Book of World Records for not having a single redeeming feature. You're still alive because Alan Sugar's life would be insupportable if he didn't have just one person to look down on. There are tribes in the Mato Grosso that have never had contact with any other human society, yet their cave paintings have a depiction of you, below which are the ideographs for "Flee ! Flee ! Beware the Horror !". |
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Does that answer your question ? |
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