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Men involved in the sport of diving off of a board sometimes encounter the problem of "package smackage" when diving into the water, especially during back and reverse head-first entries. A small piece of sponge or neoprene like material inserted in the front of the bathing suit would dissipate the
impact of the water and reduce the pain.
Darwin Awards
http://www.darwinawards.com
As if you didn't know... [shonmao, Oct 04 2004]
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Annotation:
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Maybe strap on a metal shield shaped somewhat like the prow of a boat? It could even have a name on it, like "HMS Package" |
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Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. HMS Penis Envy seems more appropriate. |
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"package smackage". Classic. |
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Wouldn't the larger package create more drag, interfering with the smoothness of your passage through the water? I already have this problem. |
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It could act as a good counter balance to aid in better executed diving though. Or at least, thats what I notice. |
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You could just stick a cricket 'box' down there. |
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blissmiss's next invention is an instrument to measure the splash size, possibly involving a series of cats placed in differing proximity to the pool. |
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For diving? Just learn to do it right. Now water polo, I could see where that might be useful. Problem is that most forms of padding are going to absorb water and create drag, and aren't going to be that effective anyway. |
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//I already have this problem//
Yeah, dragging an anchor around not only slows me down, it's painful. |
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(Having 'Modern Problems' flashback) |
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I guess - under the auspices of personal protection - I can let this one slide. I'd be surprised if padded swimsuits didn't exist, though. And this idea is likely to start an escalation of padding at the local pool. |
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I was guessing genital warts. |
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<giggles at UnaBubba's description of faux norks...> |
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Croissanted for 'package smackage'... |
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// Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. HMS Penis Envy seems more appropriate // |
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Um, is this a response to me, or . . . what, exactly, TW? |
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THIS IS GREAT IDEA! ive never got a "package smackage" (thats classic) from diving myself but it would make it look bigger... not that i need that thou... nope not at all... *whispers*"sign me up for five from first shipment" =) |
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Given the sheer quantity of situations that can lead to injury of the male reproductive organs, one has to wonder why codpieces ever went out of style. |
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The Darwin Awards book has an entire chapter of stories about men who lose the family jewels in moronic ways--yes, I'd say it's a common problem. |
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I've been sacked in water polo, hurt like crazy, but thats
the game, could be useful. However Package
smackage...thats grounds for a croissant |
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Could we never use the phrase "package smackage" again? |
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+ just for starting this topic. |
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Hmm.. you'd become known as an ostrich- rather than just a budgie- smuggler. |
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Presumably, for use on the beach: what are you protecting them from, exactly? |
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Dub: /on the beach: what are you protecting them from exactly?/ |
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package sharkage. Never seen Jaws? |
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I don't see why we haven't got these already. Ladies have them, without much water absorbtion problmes that I can see, and their "packages" don't have quite as much of a problem with smackage... Except when god's gift to women shows up. |
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Might I suggest a supercavitation device - it would "blow" bubbles around your package - reducing drag. The military is experimenting with supercavitating torpedos now - supposedly they can break the sound barrier underwater. Perhaps it could be marketed as the "Speedo Torpedo". |
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