h a l f b a k e r yTrying to contain nuts.
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<Michael Howard gets to his feet>
I'll ask again, do you intend
To spend more on the NHS?
You're slashing funds, My hon'rable friend
You're doctoring budgets from Sedgefield West.
<Jeers from the Tories, Tony Blair gets to his feet>
I shouldn't grin 'bout matters so
grave
But your double standards cause me mirth:
When you ran Health, you saucy knave
You cuffed a woman as she gave birth.
<Hoots from the Labour benches, as the speaker calls Charles Kennedy>
If you're Shakespere, I'm Rabbie Burns,
And o'er my eyes you'll pull no woool,
Iraquie war my stomach churns
I'll stick on that, fer I'm no foool.
Poetry would brighten up PMQs, and could be used in other political situations, from local council meeting to state of the union addresses. Different MPs would have different styles, from Byronesque romantic whimsy through Dotty Parker acid, plus occasional hiphop backbench interventions.
Sportku
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Sportku
reminded me of this idea by [Zircon], containing one of my favorite HB annotation threads. [krelnik, Oct 05 2004]
Tony Benn rap album
http://news.bbc.co....byshire/2997424.stm
[-alx, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld, US Secretary of Defense
http://www.guerilla...com/Fun%20Facts.htm
About half way down the page [Tiger Lily, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
The Dubya Quotations
http://www.columbiacentral.com/dubya/
I love the second one. [squeak, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Donald wins Gobbledegook award
http://www.ananova....tory/sm_843209.html
[Fishrat, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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Annotation:
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Dubya stands to address the waiting english audience in rhyme.... |
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There once was a mad president
Warmongering gaily he went
In Afghanistan,
Iraq and Iran
With support from Blair happily lent. |
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Not especially relevant but I can't resist trotting this one out: |
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There once was a poetry man
Whose limericks never did scan
When told this was so
He said "Yes I know"
"But I always try to fit as many words on the last line as I possibly can". |
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I had something more like {Jutta]'s rhyme in mind |
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<Fishrat addresses the House of Halfbakers> |
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A girl called Jutta,
The Political Baker
Seems to have a cramp on.
Now if I was a nutter
I'd propose she should take Her
Words to BenFrost's "First Tampon".
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Fortunately, I know better than to rile Jutta at any time of the month. I'm off to learn political correctness now. |
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*Almost* haflbaked by US Secretary of Defense Donald
Rumsfeld... |
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As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.
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Donald Rumsfeld
—Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing
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__Maybe what Rumsfeld *should've* said... |
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As we all know
There are known unknowns
And other unknowns
which we know not
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So to this, I say
Those known unknowns
At least are the unknowns
We know have been thought.
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"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.'' -George W. Bush, in Jan. 2000
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Uh huh. Of the Edward Lear school. + for Fishy. (I like your ideas and I'm glad you stuck around. Sorry. Slightly overhung and emotional this mornin') |
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//Sometimes, when I sleep at night, I think of Hop on
Pop/
/ |
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I'm not sure which is more freightening. The thought that
Dubya dreams in Dr. Seuss rhymes or that this was a
euphamism for his fantasy to screw Bin Laden. |
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There once was a PM named Howard,
Who gay marriages disallowed.
But visits from Bush,
Inspired his push
For unions by him disavowed.
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(You have to accent the "ed"s to hear the rhyme...) |
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I wonder if George likes green eggs and ham... |
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Dubya don't like
The Green Party's spam
No sir, he don't,
He's a cowboy's man |
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[Tiger Lily] I heard on the radio that the Donald Rumsfeld "known unknowns" speech won the Campaign Plain English (?) gobbldegook (?) award, or the equivalent. |
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It's so nice to see the archaic form of the English language being resurrected. |
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A young Labor riser named Latham,
Was chosen by caucus to slay them,
Only chance will dictate
The ultimate fate:
Of Labor or Liberal in mayhem |
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His passion puts him well ahead,
Of his predecessors,
Those uninspired ungulants,
Were Howard's best defensors.
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(Christ you rolled that one off quickly.) |
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Note also that your Latham reference,
Could match all MPs without preference. :P |
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