h a l f b a k e r yWhy not imagine it in a way that works?
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Car covers to stop snow and ice sticking to a vehicle are Baked & WKTE.
But they are somewhat inconvenient. Your chauffeur still has to dislodge the snow or ice, and then fold up or otherwise store a large, unwieldy and wet (or icy) sheet of material.
So BorgCo have developed a disposable, inflatable
cover.
On arrival at the parking spot, spread the thin plastic cover over the vehicle and attach the re-useable accessory tube to the exhaust pipe. The double-walled cover is rapidly filled with warm gases, and inflates into a half-pipe "garage" with loops which allow attachment to the wheels.
Unplug the pipe from the non-return valve, and stow it. Then leave the car. The next day, if snow or ice has accumulated, just attach the gas-generator unit to the inflation port, pull the igniter cord, and move away before the fuse burns down.
Et viola ! Hot, high pressure gas bursts the envelope along pre-defined rupture lines, flinging any adherent material up and out, away from the vehicle.
Then simply be driven away in your pristine conveyance.
DISCLAIMER: BorgCo are not liable for any loss, damage, injury, mutilation, hearing impairment, or other unforseeable or forseeable consequence, howsoever caused. Wear eye and hearing protection, stout clothing and footwear, but most importantly get someone else to operate the device while you observe from a safe* distance.
*Safety distances can go up as well as down. Previous lucky escapes are no guarantee of future survival.
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Indoors, in the linen closet, hunched over, back to the
door. |
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Overpressure in the exhaust system can cause explosions. [+] |
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<Notes that [what] seems to have prior experience of other BorgCo product(s)/> |
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^ ...yet without losing fingers, toes, important limbs and
appendages, hearing, sanity. The list goes on... |
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If the chauffeur is too lazy to park the car in the garage, then they deserve a little extra morning labour clearing the accumulated whatever. |
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Regrettably, it is sometimes necessary to park a vehicle overnight away from homes, where no garage accommodation is available. |
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Perfect for the American market ie something that
stores up global warming gases, then releases
them along with a massive explosion leaving
behind a pile of plastic pollution as the driver
speeds away, no doubt with some moron like 50
Cents blaring on their radio. [+] |
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That's exactly the sector that we have our eyes on. Well deduced. |
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The pollution isn't a problem, as the cover fragments into small bits that wash down the drain and then end up in the North Pacific, where they are out of the way and can be ignored. |
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A design using treated paper, where the cover actually combusted completely after use, has not so far been a success (in the sense of still having a usable vehicle to drive afterwards) though the system for inflating the cover with a stoichiometric (Sp. fixed) hydrogen - oxygen mixture produced by electrolysing water clearly has a great deal of potential .... |
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//overnight away from homes, where no garage accommodation is available// |
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It's the chauffer's job to drive the car to a place where there is garage accomodation. |
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//stoic//
Would that be "stoichiometric"? Your Auto-correct might
need another beating... |
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Yes, autocorrupt strikes again ... |
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// stoichiometric (Sp. fixed) hydrogen - oxygen mixture
produced by electrolysing water clearly has a great deal
of potential // |
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If you put in some extra oxygen, (based on the mass of
the paper (or plastic) covering, could you get the entire
thing to combust cleanly? On second thought, probably
not that simple because the concentration of hydrogen in
the envelope would then be too low. Perhaps if you had a
dual chamber system, one with the stoichiometric
hydrogen oxygen mix and the other containing the oxygen
needed to combust the cover. Hmm, still seems like it
might pop the whole thing without getting hot enough get
it burning reliably... |
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Yes, that's why we tried using nitrocellulose-based "paper". |
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Oh, and we're recruiting again. The job advertisement for product testers will be published just as soon as the legal team finish adjusting the wording. |
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Perhaps testing it in a drive-thru car wash was the initial mistake, though at least we did get to say "They were cleaning it, and it went off ..." |
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Wouldn't it be easier to just stuff a large quilt with gun-
cotton; drape it over the vehicle and light it at a convenient
time? |
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For a sufficiently large and insulating (mylar?) cover,
this would double as a hot air balloon. |
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More practically, this could in theory be implemented
as a convertible roof which covers the entire car,
perhaps resembling a large, folded umbrella with the
handle affixed to the car's roof. |
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// Wouldn't it be easier to just stuff a large quilt with gun- cotton; // |
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Because although it does very effectively remove snow and ice, it also very effectively removes the vehicle, and most structures within a hundred metre radius. |
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I would thought that sufficient reason for you to do it, you
cantankerous old reprobate. |
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//A design using treated paper,// |
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What you want is nitroce.... |
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//we tried using nitrocellulose-based "paper". // |
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//large quilt with gun- cotton;// |
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It's not that powerful, I have a big pad of the stuff on the
other side of the lab. For the most part, it sloshes around
in salty liquids though, so not so dangerous in our hands. |
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The standard method is to coat the hydrogen envelope with a dope containing aluminium powder and iron oxide. (Too soon?). |
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Good idea, three days until Guy Fawkes night ... fireworks ! |
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