h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Most office hierarchies are so deep nobody actually knows who is calling the shots and who is doing the work. This leads to a profound sense of detachment, and an excess of coffee breaks.
In these cases, to satisfy everyone, a system could be put into place where the CEO directly answers to some production
assistant hip with the latest millienial vibes. The chain of command thus can loop through all divisions and departments; splitting into parallel streams when needed (i.e. all salesmen answer to the marketing director, and head of IT answers to a quorum of salesmen)
To test the system; orders can be made to pass memos by the desks of your underlings and these will by nature circle through the entire company.
Nobody, will actually still know who is calling the shots. It could still remain a proactive runner making overly authoritative demands somewhere deep in the system. Perhaps this is impossible to improve. However everyone will have a say.
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Great, an organogram modelled on the windoze 98 directory tree ... |
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Doomed to be so bad as to not even fail well. |
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Surely ouroborus management would involve the CEO eating
the office cleaners? |
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Like a weird, inverted version of the Clinton White House ... |
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Remember how the occupy movement had everyone
parrot the words of whomever spoke, like some
weird mindless swarm? You could do this with
simple anonymous commands entered onto an
anonymous account that everyone could log into. |
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Sounds similar to "Twitch Plays Pokemon" in real
life, where ~10,000 players simultaneously
attempted to play a single-player Pokemon game by
sending commands all at once over the Internet
while watching the live-stream. The "Twitch Plays
Pokemon" model applied to a business would be a
bit different: it would require all managers to obey all
commands from anyone below them in the company
hierarchy. To reduce the chaos, there would also be
a possibility for supermajority approval for a special
"vote on every command" option. |
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Philosophically I like the idea of a never-ending
election, but in practice I suspect the employees
would vote to sell the entire company and split the
value amongst themselves pretty much immediately,
since the market value of a company is sometimes
more than a year's total payroll cost for the
company, and a year's salary would give plenty of
time to find a new job. |
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Actually, since many senior managers in large organizations already spend all their time with their heads shoved up their own arses, this is probably Baked. |
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I would never let an ouroboros past the second round of
interviews, so the problem of having to manage one would not
arise. |
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"And what particular talents do you think you ... wait; would you
mind taking that out of your mouth while I'm talking to you? It's
just I'm finding it a little ..." |
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[Max] Office cleaners are normally contractors so would be excluded from the circle. |
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[8th] Or going on from what Max says; Many senior managers are eating production assistants so yes it is probably baked. |
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Pretty sure it is. There was that one time that I had to fire my supervisor's
manager, and had everybody looking over their shoulders so hard I told
HR to refer the whole department to a chiropractor. |
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(I mean, come on - if you've just been hired to head the Credibility
Department, and are claiming you've invented a simple plastic stick that
improves the density of water by 20%, but don't know whether that's an
increase or a decrease, it had better be a department where I'm not the
Lackey Responsible for Noxious Trivia.) |
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// improves the density of water by 20%, but don't know whether that's an increase or a decrease // |
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Ahh, a candidate for the VP of Marketing has arisen. |
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