One step Fart suppression

Cow and and termite flatulence may threaten the earth's atmosphere; why add human gas to the mix? No longer will the "who smelt it dealt it" argument have to sour the mood of churches, funerals and other quiet gatherings. Anti-gas Japanese kombu sea vegetables, the herb epazote, anise seeds, coriander seeds, or cumin could be added by food makers to canned, frozen, fresh and packaged toot producing foods - Beano could be licensed for the same use. Additionally, anti-(edit- oops!)gas supplements could be offered on the menu as a loss leader or profit maker at restaurants serving high protein foods, sugar substitutes and dairy products. I feel this would be a big seller for singles on a dinner date.(1) Anti-gas pill emitting vending machines could be installed at gyms where high protein diet fueled reports are issued regularly during power lifts.

One more strike rings out against the decay of Mother Earth.

(1) Such additives would not be as appealing where married couples, long time partners, or Honey Boo Boo type families dine.