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Nu-screens
Eliminate annoying fingerprints in one sweep | |
In the laboratory we have many pieces of complicated equipment which are controlled by computers. These computers have flat screen monitors which are very lovely and allow us to keep track of our evil schemes and plans for world domination.
The thing about monitors is that it's all too easy to point
at things on the screen when discussing evil schemes with minions and henchmen. Unfortunately, my colleague Ian, who does like things to be neat and tidy, gets particularly annoyed when we do this as it leaves fingerprints on the screen.
My solution: tear off screens.
Formula one drivers have tear off see-through sheets on the front of their visors so when they get dirty they can just rip off the top sheet, leaving a clean visor underneath. I propose a pack of see through plastic sheets, which are stuck to the screen, rather like the plastic protectors you get on mobile phone screens when you first get them. At the first hint of a sticky fingerprint, Ian (or your resident lab stickler-for-cleanliness) can whip off the top sheet, leaving a fresh, clean, fingerprint-free sheet underneath.
Clearly the packs of sheets could only be a few thick or the evil plans would be compromised through an inability to read the "laser" dimensions accurately.
(?) Formula 1 Helmet Tear Off Strips
http://www.formula1...calinfo/11/771.html
different problem, same solution [jonthegeologist, Oct 04 2004]
Anti-scratch bus windows
http://www.halfbake...tch_20bus_20windows
by Morals. Similar but different. [calum, Oct 04 2004]
Graffiti To-Go
http://www.halfbake...ea/Graffiti_20To-Go
by roby. Similar but different. [calum, Oct 04 2004]
Blowfish Tearaways
http://www.halfbake...lowfish_20Tearaways
by lurch. Similar but different. [calum, Oct 04 2004]
Disposable Fingertips
http://www.halfbake...osable_20fingertips
Another solution, perhaps simpler [hazel, Oct 04 2004]
[link]
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And it eliminates the problem of keeping deadly poisons like Windex around. (Or you could just chop off their grubby fingers with a guillotine blade that oscillates in front of the screen at random times. They'll learn...eventually.) |
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//Or you could just chop off their fingers with a guillotine blade that oscillated in front of the screen at random times. They'd learn...eventually// |
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That's not the kind of idea I want to suggest to Ian since he'd love it. And I have to use the monitors. |
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Surely you have a spare death ray sitting around that could be pressed in to service to vaporize the offending grimy paw marks from the monitor (or fingers from the offender). |
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It must be impossible to put new sheets of these on without getting them all fingerprinty while you're doing it. |
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that's what gloves are for [phun]... |
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(the death ray is kept pretty busy [half]. Can't just go using it willy nilly on such trivialities as fingerprints, when there are whole communication systems to disrupt) |
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How about a long sheet of transparent material that lays over the screen and scrolls up on either side of the screen? With the touch of a button, the soiled material is scrolled out of sight, replaced by a new, clean section. |
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The deluxe version would scrub the material clean as it is taken up onto the spool. When the supply roll is empty, then next touch of the button would begin scrolling the material back the other way. |
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How about those 'bonnets' that one slips over leftovers bound for cold storage? The larger ones of those would about snuggle around a monitor. |
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couldn't you use the same kind of thng they have from palm pilots, writerights or whatever they're called....thin plastic sheet that goes over the screen |
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You could re-use the ripped off sheet as disposable overhead projector films. |
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<mentally remembers telling Hazel this idea when deep into a bottle of red on Saturday night> Hang on! This is damned familiar! </mrthtiwdiaborosn> |
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Ah. Yes. Technically you did mention something about this. My other idea was Disposable Fingertips [link] |
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I was at an RAF station last week and the IT manager there had obviously been driven to distraction by marked monitors as alongside each one was a large sticker informing users that 'Pens and fingers are not pointing devices'. |
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Proximity detector(s) that blank the screen when a finger comes too close. |
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Static electricity might do the trick, if you get zapped just before making a mark on the screen. |
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Doesn't work in my office and we have serious static build ups, something to do with the cheap marquee flooring that is used. People still touch the screens then jump back swearing. |
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what a wiper, similar to a car wind screen wiper, but a bit better designed to cover all the screen. maybe a lil jet of cleaning fluid too? |
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Al Jaffee of Mad Magazine came up with this identical idea in a sketch he did for Mad back in the 70's. It was for easy bug removal from windshields (particularly motorcycle windshields) instead of monitors, but the new cellophane-type layers with tabbed removal was clearly illustrated. |
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// Or you could just chop off their grubby fingers with a guillotine blade that oscillates in front of the screen // |
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Hey, the monitor just chopped off my finger!
How did that happen?
Well I just went like this and Oops! There goes another one! |
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The objective can be accomplished by preventing the fingerprints to stick by using a very slippery chemical that will reject human oil. |
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