Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?

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Not nekkid glasses

 
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To obviate dangerous stuff being smuggled on board planes, all passengers will be required to enter the booth, remove all their clothing and put on the (lockable) not nekkid glasses (TM).

It superimposes evening dress on all the other passengers to preserve modest during the flight.

Aha, you're saying what about the airline staff, they get the lockable, but variant model, which has different costumes to superimpose such as rabbit costume etc.

Helps to avoid the mental trauma from looking at shedloads of really unattractive naked people every day and/or that git in seat 37 who keeps pressing the attention bell will at least look funnier.

NMR Co is not responsible for software crashes in-flight.

But, it can be arranged for a modest fee - unmarked, non sequential banknotes only please to PO Box 11, Milton Keynes...

not_morrison_rm, Feb 15 2013

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       There's already an airline that carries blindfolded, naked passengers all over the world. It's run by the CIA.
UnaBubba, Feb 15 2013
  

       Good god, that was only up for two seconds...<looks for hidden camera>   

       Naah, that's just the cutbacks. The inflight films had to go, but there were too proud to admit it, hence the blindfolds.
not_morrison_rm, Feb 15 2013
  

       We replaced them with waterboards.
UnaBubba, Feb 15 2013
  

       To a country that doesn't comply with international law? No, they don't turn off Rick Astley inflight. I believe they also play something called LMFAO.
UnaBubba, Feb 15 2013
  

       So did my college neighbor, until one night when he played it a little too loud and they never found him again.   

       On a totally unrelated topic, there are a number of deep quarries in Maine.
Alterother, Feb 15 2013
  

       //waterboards.   

       No one's ever mentioned if they got to keep their own waterboard, as some kind of memento?
not_morrison_rm, Feb 15 2013
  

       Waterboarding sounds a really fun thing. Maybe they should rename other methods of torture to make them more appealing. "We've tried helicoptering him with no luck. If we're going to get anything out of him, we need to move on to bobskiing, and we'd also like authorization to use the roller-cape."
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 15 2013
  

       Adventure holidays with a difference...get the US intelligence community to be at least part-funded by their own endeavours..
not_morrison_rm, Feb 16 2013
  
      
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