h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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When you get a nosebleed that won't stop, one
recommendation is to press a cold, wet tissue to the bridge of
the nose. Cooling the nose reduces its blood-flow, helping to
stop the bleed.
However, a cold, wet tissue becomes a warm, wet tissue quite
quickly. MaxCo. (Medical and Gardening Division)
is therefore
proud to launch its Nosecooler. The Nosecooler resembles a
pair of spectacles in general design, but the bridge consists of
a silicone rubber cup with a groove in it to accommodate the
nose.
When nasal haemorrhage happens, simply pop an ice-cube and
a splash of water into the cup, and then don the Nosecooler.
The bridge of your nose will be intensely cooled for several
minutes, staunching the Niagara of blood. As a bonus, it
makes you looks ridiculous.
Like this.
https://images.app....l/BoB5LbRmSbRhM7aw6
[doctorremulac3, Feb 14 2020]
So not a cold seal
http://s3.favim.com...avim.com-403246.jpg
Heavy on the nose. Although, the down would staunch a flow. [wjt, Feb 16 2020]
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You'll need glasses to hold it on and perhaps a sponge below
the nose to catch any blood not stopped by the device.
(link) |
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.....and when the cube half melts, it drops straight
down into your G&T! Splash! Cheers [+] |
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Ethyl acetate might give better cooling. |
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A Groucho Marx combined spectacles, eyebrows, fake nose and cigar would add considerable extra scope for additional features. |
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Yes, [doc], like that only different. |
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The eyebrows are just to look cool. (Seriously though, good
idea. Yours not mine.) [+] |
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Something like this would be very useful for those with
chronic nosebleeds. My brother Dennis got them growing up
almost weekly. Everywhere, blood everywhere. |
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You could have just stopped hitting him on the nose, shirley ? |
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Yeah, he's the one that told me to blow in the sugar bowl and
something "magical" would happen. Two weeks later when I
was still washing sugar out of my eyes, I should have popped
him one and game him the biggest bleed of his lips. |
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Sibling violence; tragic, yet hilariously funny. |
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Could somebody please bone this idea? I mean, sympathy
buns are great an' all, but a man has his pride. |
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I didn't bun it out of sympathy, I bunned it because it's an interesting and original idea. |
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Do you want an anti-sympathy bone, or do you want me to
genuinely dislike this idea? |
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//Could somebody please bone this idea?// |
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If it were dumb I'd ignore it. I've got my pride too. |
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I wonder if a pint of ice cream would do the trick. Needs to
be clinically tested |
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[ ] It's slightly at odds with my recent spittoon acquisition. |
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// I've got my pride too // |
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Presumably you raised enough money panhandling for dimes on the street corner to buy it back out of hock ... |
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//Presumably you raised enough money panhandling for
dimes on the street corner to buy it back out of hock
...// |
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I'd rather make rhymes and panhandle dimes that handle
a
man's pickle for a nickle. (points an accusing finger in a
taunting manner) |
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Hey Max, can we get back to smacking each other around
like we always do? Obviously we're all getting a bit
fatigued
doing this
"polite and respectful to each other" routine for your
benefit. Frankly I'm exhausted. It has no bearing on you
understand, it's just that we're here to break each other's
balls and pretending to be civil is, well... tiring. |
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[Doc], I would welcome that. It's just the sort of uncivilised
behaviour I've come to expect from you. Go for it. |
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The idea sucks, by the way. No, hang on, it was my idea. It's
a great idea. |
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//It's just the sort of uncivilised behaviour I've come to
expect from you.// |
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Why thank you Max, I like to think I've perfected my game. |
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OK everybody! We can knock off the polite bullshit now! |
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Now Xenzag, what was that you were saying about Trump? |
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You can always bone yourself, although you normally have to use your extension for that. |
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I'd like the Tycho Brahe brass model please, two of them if it's not too much trouble. |
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Some tear off endothermic reaction strips ? to keep the ice cold. |
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