h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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A pair of apparently normal headphones with a pair of microphones and some electronics and software.
Most sound passes through unaltered, but the unit is specifically programmed to detect and mask the repulsive and utterly disgusting noises of a nearby cow-orker who, having contracted a nice juicy
cold, thinks it's macho to struggle into the office looking like a badly-reanimated corpse, turning in substandard work, coughing and sneezing, and spraying the virus round like some sort of animate bioweapons facility.
[link]
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Selective noise cancelling headphones are an idea who's
time has come. Simple software would eliminate the
moronic gibberings of the Trump retard, along with his
British poodle Farage. Once dumb and dumber are silenced,
all sorts of other irritating sounds could be blocked. It's a
winner. Enjoy the sound of munching croissants. |
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How is it that you, seeming to want weapons built into
most products, failed to specify that, here? If the
offending nose is shot off, the owner might get the message
about staying away from the office when contagious. |
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It could be called the "No Noise iNose" [+] |
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Sounds like you have the same orquers de la vache
that I do |
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//a nearby cow-orker// This would seem to imply
that you are actually in employment, [8th]. Please
clarify. |
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Of course he's in employment... he orkers cows all day long. |
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Orking is apparently not only permitted outside of the
residence but is actually a paid skill. |
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Well ... "employment" implies doing "work" in return for payment. |
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We prefer an arrangement where we operate a small-scale ruthless tyrannical unaccountable despotic regime on a casual basis and entirely for our own amusement (plus it's indoors, with no heavy lifting) while receiving lavish and unjustifiable recompense, and taking all the credit for the efforts of others. |
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Bit like your family, really. |
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Which reminds us ... will you be lighting the Samhain Wicker Man with the Intercalary's flamethrower, or do you want us to bring a couple of cases of thermite grenades ? |
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