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You don't work in a fast food joint, do you?... |
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How about not picking your nose? |
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Sans zippyanna's version of the nasal backhoe, try Qtips (or, Utips if you'd prefer to make a teenybopper fashion statement). |
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I'm thinking of a clip on excavator...sort of a tonka toy back hoe thing that clips onto the nostril. |
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Not sophisticated enough compared to my electric nose picker. This digital digit will twist and turn around your nostrils and rapidly remove all unwanted snot. Then simply rinse under a tap, and wave your snot goodbye. |
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For a small extra charge an attachment for removing belly button lint is available. |
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What about some variation on those drops you get for softening ear wax? Just 2-3 drops up each nostril, wait 30 seconds, and sploosh! |
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Unfortunately it is extinct now, but God actually had the solution when She created the Blow Nose Fly (in the same genes as the Blow Fly), also known in Alabama, where I'm from, as the Booger Fly. |
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According to cave paintings found in Peoria, and etchings on a grail found in Mobile, the adult Blow Nose Fly laid eggs in the nostrils of all warm blooded bipeds (cold blooded bipeds were out of luck, but that's how the divine hand works). The larvae of the Blow Nose Fly kept the nasal passages open and clean, just like it's cousin the Blow Fly whose maggots keep gangrene from becoming a social nuisance and distraction in church. |
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But there is hope, since Blow Nose Fly larvae have been found preserved in amber, so maybe through advances in DNA research, we will be able to reestablish the Blow Nose Fly maggot in time for those pesky summer colds, wood shop projects, or allergic reactions to eggs when a chicken rancher from Arizona appears in your horoscope. |
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Uh, thanks for making me re-evaluate what is and is not pleasant to think about, otrcomm. I think you'll fit right in here... |
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since you're so devoted to nose picking: why not take the time to grow your pinky finger nail excessively long and then file it to form? saves you some money and some embarrassment when going to buy the nose pick device at the store. |
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If God meant us to eat bogies, he wouldn't have invented hankies. |
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It is a matter of personal pride and the thrill of the chase to hunt down the solitary annoying ones that evade capture. |
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Our newest member is apparently a nose picking
connoisseur... |
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Did think of taking it up as a career at one stage. |
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"....God actually had the solution when "She"...."
She sure did when she created Jesus with the Virgin Mary. A truly Magnificent Conception! |
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[Supp], when we quote somebody else's anno, we use
double-forslashes (like so: // ... //) as sort of 'exagerrated'
quotation marks; makes it easier to spot when scanning
down a page that has spawned multiple anno threads.
Don't worry, you'll pick up the protocol in no time. |
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