h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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Hey Girls! You getting tired of being chatted up by the same greaseball in class every Friday? You getting stalked on the weekends? You just can’t get the message through to your ex?
Now there’s a solution! New “Nose 1-2-3” will reshape your nose in just three easy steps! Each packet of “Nose
1-2-3” contains three prosthetic noses, each a little larger than the last, complete with nose adhesive, blending paste and a powder compact. Applied in just five minutes, “Nose 1-2-3” will noticeably increase your SNOUT SIZE!! Start with the smallest and step up one size a week and after just three weeks you’ll look like you’ve grown a HUGE NOSE!! Once you’ve shaken your stalker, you can remove your COLOSSAL CONK and return your facial proportions back to normal.*
“Nose 1-2-3” is available in a variety of skin tones and size ranges, and for a limited period comes with FREE ADHESIVE WARTS!!
So buy “Nose 1-2-3” today, and drive those weirdoes away!
*Normalisation of social status not guaranteed
Ugly Teef
http://www.drbukk.com/index.html
Buy some ugly teef too [MoreCowbell, Jul 14 2006]
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Brilliant!! You-nose-it!!! |
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For some reason this reminds me of a dating website I read about that only included people who were considered by other members as 'beautiful/ handsome' enough... |
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Too much work. I like the Idea, but an applica-wart that grows hair suits me better. |
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Hah hah Wagster. I *am* that
greaseball, and will know that the
apparently gross proboscis is nothing
but a ruse. You've blown your nose,
Wag. |
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I seem to have unwittingly subscribed to "Ass 1-2-3". I am interested in the removal part, as it no longer fits well into my pants, but seems very firmly attached. |
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See what happens when you miss a payment? |
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my wife has no nose. how does she smell? terrible. |
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Just pick your nose when said guy is watching. Usually works. Not always, but usually. |
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If it doesn't, then make sure you smile at him later with the bogie caught in your teeth... |
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//make sure you smile at him later with the bogie caught in your teeth...// |
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Haha, Bogie. Gotta love the Brits. |
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//So buy “Nose 1-2-3” today, and drive those weirdoes away!// |
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Increase the length of your nose after each time you tell him you don't love him. Then he'll think you're lying, and you still have feelings for him! |
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How about something a little less pinnochioesqe, like growing ears, or shrinking breasts... |
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I don't think this one is going to sell until it has a feature that allows it to dissapear automagically when a hunk (who your customers want to attract rather than repel) suddenly comes on the scene. |
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[James] I think if said hunk was to appear, the nose can be taken off. I'd get a tissue, pretend to blow my nose whilst ripping it off, and act like nothing unusual has happened. |
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I just liked my own anno from 8 years ago! (found it
by accident while browsing random ideas!) |
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This completely fails to take into account men such as myself who consider women with strong or prominent noses attractive. |
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