Nose-hair Alarm Clock

Does your alarm clock lack the punch needed to get you moving in the morning? Try the Nose-hair Alarm Clock.

First, mount it to the wall opposite the foot of your bed, and set it as you would a normal alarm clock. Then you will see why this is no ordinary alarm clock. This clock features two nose-hair clips, tethered with fine wires to a spring-loaded winch. At night, pull on the clips to extend the wires until they reach the pillow, then climb into bed and attatch the clips to your nose hairs. You can then sleep peacfully, knowing that you can rely on your nose-hair alarm clock to wake you on time. When the alarm goes off, the winch will be allowed to recoil, giving you an exhilarating wake-up that will help you to start off a productive day.

We're confident that you'll be fully satisfied with our product. Consider this comment from a member of our test group:

"AGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!"

We also offer our night time scream-muffling mask as an added bonus!