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Nonstick Flag Pole

 Teflon tongue-saver
  (+5)
(+5) 		  [vote for,
against]

polytetrafluoroethylene and other non-stick coatings have served man but not his canary for years but seem mainly used to produce cookware and enriched uranium. I propose putting this slipperiness to another good use.

in the winter when one drives past a schoolyard, what more familiar sight could there be than a small child with his tongue frozen to the school's flag pole. it's too bad the school did not invest in slippero-paint's line of non-stick solutions. can 1 contains a primer made of something that sticks to metal and ptfe, can 2 contains the ptfe, and tongues are saved.

after its release this product gains limited interest from speed-obsessed firehouses wishing to "overclock" their poles, with disasterous result.

—joeforker, Jul 04 2005

PTFE Poisoning http://www.oldworld.../styles/teflon.html
For the birds. [DrCurry, Jul 04 2005]


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Annotation:







       Definite bun.
Schools who cannot afford slippero-paint (or, indeed, a full set of capital letters) can instead simply connect the flagpole to the mains, with a handy big red push-button installed nearby.
—Basepair, Jul 04 2005
   

       Alternate solutions for the flag-pole problem include bitro-paint (contains bittering agent), decals with a picture of a tongue surrounded by the circleslash (/), and living in Florida.
—joeforker, Jul 04 2005
   

       1) Get class action lawsuit from parents of kids whose tongues got stuck to flagpole.
2) Coat flagpole in PTFE.
3) Get class action lawsuit from wildlife groups over poisoning school environment with PTFE.
4) Pay hazardous waste removal firm to remove PTFE.
5) See #1.
—DrCurry, Jul 04 2005
   

       Cute idea. +
—blissmiss, Jul 04 2005
   

       DrCurry,   

       slippero-co denies and objects to your unfounded rumours about our ground breaking and reasonably priced product! If the school district had taken our advice and purchased replacement spatulas none of this would have happened.   

       Replacement spatulas: think of the children.   

       ps. watch your back -- we have ways of making you slip.
—joeforker, Jul 05 2005
   

       Hmm. Does Teflon prevent tongues from sticking, freezing, to cold surfaces? I'm not convinced that it does.
—bristolz, Jul 05 2005
   

       //I'm not convinced that it does.//
This obviously needs to be tested. I suggest that [joeforker] put his frypan in the freezer overnight, then take it out and lick it.
—angel, Jul 05 2005
   

       Anything would work if it had low heat conductivity and capacity. For example: expanded polysterene. But it would also need to be water repellant, to stop ice formation from stray water.
—Ling, Jul 05 2005
   

       I have performed this experiment [angel] and I can report that, no, the teflon failed to prevent sticking of the tongue. Also, frying pans are very heavy when supported by the tongue.
—harderthanjesus, Jul 05 2005
   

       Hell, I know your kids have to pledge allegiance to the flag, but I never knew licking the pole was part of the deal.
—AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 05 2005
   


 

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