Non-Alcoholic Beer Goggles

OK, you go to the bar with your friends, they all get stinking drunk and hook up with various partners of the opposite sex. You are the only one single since you are the designated driver or you have sworn off alcohol. You have a good time watching your friends and sipping on non-alcoholic beer, but something is missing. Alas, a partner awaits you, but you would rather ride them home since they look like they are related to a horse.

Here's where the non-alcoholic beer goggles come in, you place them on your face and everyone you see becomes 10x more attractive. Beer bellies become washboard stomachs. Toothless old hags become supermodels. You grab the first person (assuming they are physically compatible, or even human) and make sweet love to them. When morning arrives, you share the shock of your compadres, when you remove your beer goggles, look to the other side of the bed and nearly vomit (and you didn't even drink!).

The beer goggles could come in a variety of styles, some looking like regular glasses with "adjusted" lenses. Other could be more blatant - looking like swimming goggles that say "Beer Goggles" prominently on them. Now, I know that you are the designated driver for a reason, perhaps the lenses can flip up like sunglasses to your regular glasses. Hopefully, your date isn't sitting next to you, or perhaps a set of "beer blinders" can be attached for sideways vision allowing perfect road vision...