h a l f b a k e r yThis product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
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Twin babies frequently cry in tandem. This invention makes use of this characteristic. Monozygotic twins (identical twins) will have a similar lung and vocal chord arrangement. By introducing mild electrofeedback to the vocal chord it is possible to cause the twins to cry in tandem and anti-phase, this
promoting reduced stress for parents and carers.
The electrofeedback will be in the form of amplified crying from the other baby and used to apply amplitude modulated electric shock to the neck of each baby, causing the chords to spasm at the correct phase.
Another side effect will be is that the louder the cry the bigger the shock, acting as a disincentive to cry loudly in the first place.
Please note this is not a serious invention! Parents, do not try this at home!
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No feedback necessary - just place them so one baby is exactly out of phase with the other. |
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"What? Oh, no! How long have you two been hungry?" |
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what do you like the least, normal crying or great fountains of vomit from traumatised babies? |
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or am I over-reacting again? |
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I suppose one could add an add-on that would send a text message to the grandparents when the babies have been crying for longer than a pre-set time period. Lets make the adjustment for that, say 5 to 20 hours? |
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