h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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First there was the No Socks, Socks, but now I see a good reason to have No Gloves, Gloves. That reason is of course the dreaded virus. I won't handle or touch anything with bare hands or fingers that's not in my home or studio, so I've been wearing disposable surgical gloves. They're a bit creepy and
I would prefer something that appeared more natural.
No Gloves, Gloves would therefore be custom printed with the existing detail of the owner's hands, including veins, hair, wrinkles, nails etc being realistically depicted.
Vending type machines would facilitate the entire process, with the hands being inserted in a wide slot for rapid 3D scanning, and payment. The resulting pack of gloves would take a few days to make, so they would come in the post.
Customised extras would include: webbing between the fingers to make swimming more fun; glow in the dark printed dots that are invisible in day light.
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Webbed swimming gloves are Baked & WKTE. |
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Well, you won't order that version and besides, do you even have hands? I though you had some sort of bundle of tentacles arrangement? |
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I'm not sold on this yet. It kind of creeps me out. When
someone takes them off it would look like they are being
skinned alive. (Perhaps I watch too much tv). |
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// I though you had some sort of bundle of tentacles arrangement? // |
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That's just one option. We have a system of fully interchangeable hot-swappable devices - tools, weapons, manipulators - which are the envy of purely organic entities. |
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And if one gets damaged, we can instantly replicate a replacement. We note the dismal refrain from your maintenance techs, "Sorry, no spares, that model no longer manufactured." Every human special-to-type, no documentation, no warranty, limited interchangeability and repair options ? What a rip-off. |
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Does that include fluffy kitten paws? |
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Only at Halloween... they conceal Wolverine-style extensible metal talons, optimized for rending flesh and bone. |
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We are familiar with the Prior Art. And why would you be surprised ? We constantly seek to add the biological and technological distinctiveness of other species to our own. |
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