h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Get new moderators - some that AREN'T on the cheap $5 crack as of now, so they won't delete my stupid ideas!
Street Prices of Drugs, in Glasgow
http://news.bbc.co....cotland/4216572.stm
For calum. [DrCurry, Oct 25 2005]
Worst Ideas, by vote
http://www.halfbake..._20the_20Halfbakery
As of the 28th October 2005, this is the 7th-worst idea. [dbmag9, Oct 28 2005]
[link]
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[marked–for–deletion] rant. |
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If you want your ideas to not be deleted, you can set up your very own site. |
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Or just type them in notepad and save them on your hard drive. At night you can open them up and pretend to annotate on, vote for and delete them. I find it most enjoyable if I adopt a different silly voice for each poster. |
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MFD, advocacy. “All moderators should be on high quality crack”. |
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I'll be surprised if you even have an account by tomorrow... |
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Akabaka: time, I think, to reconsider whether you want to post on this site or not. If you really like the place, kick back and relax a bit, or you WILL get kicked out (speaking from personal experience, I might add). |
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If you've had an idea deleted, then it was truly unsuited to this site, and you are lucky to still have a working account. If people have merely suggested that one be deleted (and I see that has happened to your "Cat Island" idea as well), then take a hint. |
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You don't need to post an idea every day, or even every month, and if people don't get your jokes, do the right thing and delete them. Straighten up and fly right. |
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Yeah. Those stupid moderators need at least $7 crack. |
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Psst, bris, over here in the corner... |
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How much does crack go for, anyway? I've been offered it before but never actually got so far as to negotiating a price. |
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What's crack, is it like a crackerjack pencil? |
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I find that the cheap crack prompts me to post immense, rambling annotations. The costy stuff makes me work efficiently, and so I never wind up halfbaking. |
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I'm only here for the craic. |
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But the cheap $5 crack is a much better deal than the expensive $5 crack. |
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(and I was hoping this was a job posting) |
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Ironically enough, then number of fishbones that this idea has so quickly amassed shows quite an appreciation of the job that the moderators are currently doing. |
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It could be an expression of frustration at the cheap price of crack Akabaka evidently enjoys. |
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We all feel it, let's be honest. |
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I always try and avoid the crack. I get some very strange looks as I hop down the pavement. Black Top makes the whole exercise so much easier. |
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Black Top? Where can I buy that? |
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Tulane.
(Was that too obscure?) |
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[Not when you have access to Google.] |
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leave Vernon out of this - if you know what's good for you! |
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Thanks, [po].
I don't do drugs, so any remarks I make here about crack will only get me tarred and feathered as a chauvinist. Simpler to just relax and let any Vernon-related remarks disappear in due course. :) |
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crack-a-doodle-do - it's early - wakey wakey and smell the
napalm |
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<question for moderators> |
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Trying to highlight and then copy the word craic made a little Yahoo icon appear. When I cracked, I mean clicked it the web definitions popped up in a new screen. Is this a new Hb feature? |
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2 fries: sounds like one of those shareware/spyware things. You have a Yahoo toolbar in your browser? |
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Yes there is a Yahoo toolbar, but it's never done this before. Apparently my fourteen year old has been tinkering with the 'puter again.
Thanks. I'll try a spywear scan. |
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New moderators? Are you claiming that the old ones have received too many cracks? The technical term is Wigner energy. |
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By the way, 2 fries, my computer is continually pestering me to upgrade to Adobe 7, but when I initiate doing so tries to slip the Yahoo toolbar past me at the same time. |
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I woke up next to that damn Yahoo toolbar last Sunday. It is a sneaky one. |
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I have the same problem as Loris - s/he's referring to Acrobat 7. |
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I still have this mental image of a child saying "Can I have a new moderator, please, this one's broken?" |
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I have an idea...change the idea title to "Nude Moderators". |
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I always assumed that was baked. |
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How about "Moderate New Berators". |
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i would feel much happier having ideas deleted by nude moderators. |
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woof to doggy <pats on head> |
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did you know that dogs have more words for woof in english than in any other language? |
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I didn't know that dogs needed more than one word for woof. |
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"Woof"... "no...WOOOF!"..."no... that's not it... "wooFFF!"...."damn!" |
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Just out of curiosity, how does one become a Halbakery moderator in the first place? Are you approached by a mysterious and shadowy figure, or is it more of an 'email Jutta and ask' sort of affair? Do you guys actually get paid in crack? |
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Just email some crack, that should get you in. |
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I actually get them from a breeder in Newfoundland. |
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/Halbakery moderator/ - "Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this." |
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I just found out that an Adobe is a 'Sun baked brick'. I wish I hadn't bothered. |
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I thought Adobe was one of [UB]’s pets. |
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I thought it was slang for cannabis. |
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Good moderators are not made, they are bred... specifically to be abused, and to abuse, or so it now seems. |
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In the wings, heroin addicted moderators. One glitch, they keep puking on their keyboards, and they're never awake when you need em. |
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Abuse? Never. Bite? Sometimes. |
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New moderators, get your new moderators here! Buy two, get one free! |
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//You don't need to post an idea every day, or even every month// |
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One per month would be quite frequent for me. |
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Quality, not quantity. Amen. |
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I wasn't going down that road for a reason... |
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I do admire a modest man. |
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If humility were dust, I would be a neutron star. |
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Has anyone tried to live on dust? you know like a
vegetarian - I once remember breatherians, who lived on a
diet of air alone. Could there be dusterians? and if there
were, and I was one of them, we could feed on Detly's
neutron star sized stash for a long time.
I was also wondering - if Akabaka's idea gets deleted, does
that mean that the Moderators have just confirmed that
they really are on the $5 crack? It's quite a conundrum,
because if they try to confound that argument by not
deleting then have they have equally proved Ak's
assertion. Either way AK wins - hmmmm - pass me another
helping of that neutron star dust. |
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//breatherians, who lived on a diet of air alone// - The chief breatherian was photographed a couple of times snacking on a chocolate digestive. |
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I'm shocked, deeply shocked! |
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Would this fantastical beast be a modesterator? |
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You know that feeling when you walk into a room and realise that you really shouldn't have walked in?... |
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Wasn't David Blane a breatherian? Or did he survive off of thrown tomatoes? Actually, I never heard the end of that story - did he ever come down? |
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Wow, only 3 days and this is already the 7th-worst idea on the Halfbakery (based on the view I have, which uses the votes to make a list). See [linky]. |
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//Wasn't David Blane a breatherian? ... Actually, I never heard the end of that story - did he ever come down?// |
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//if Akabaka's idea gets deleted, does that mean that the Moderators have just confirmed that they really are on the $5 crack?// |
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Post an idea : "Moderators are on $5 crack - destroy if true" and find out for definite. |
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//Wow, only 3 days and this is already the 7th-worst idea on the Halfbakery (based on the view I have, which uses the votes to make a list).// |
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Hey, there are 2 ways of moving this idea up to its deserved place atop the list: |
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1) vote against this idea
2) vote *for* the ideas above it. |
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I've read them all and not one of them deserves to be voted for. This has actually happened a couple of times lately. I think "Animal Fights" got to about 9th place back in August. Such things rarely last anymore, because they get MFD'd. And much as it would be a hell of a compliment to the moderators if this idea got to #1 worst, even if it did last a while longer, I think #3 is about the roof for modern ideas. I'm quite curious as to who actually voted for this (assuming one vote is [Alabaka]'s). |
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I don't know, the one to beat is "Vagina Jam", which clearly a controversial one. |
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I myself have already voted for "Mandatory acceleration limit", which I think is actually quite a good idea. |
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I wouldn't call Vagina Jam controversial, just tasteless (I'm going to regret that sentence). |
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Now let's not get immoderate... |
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<Dave Barry> "New Moderators" would be an excellent name for an on-line rock band. </DB> |
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Throw more negagtive votes at Danger Bunny. It's not even in the bottom twenty worst ideas! |
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a) This isn't the place.
b) Danger bunny isn't really an invention so I wouldn't push it.
c)Why do you want to be on a list of crappy ideas anyway?
d) Still not the place. You just lost one negative vote. |
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I'm adding a bun, for no other reason than this is the best thread I've read in a long time. |
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Damn, [ato_de] beat me to the New Moderaters band name. But I could always call my group The Adobe Seven. |
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[angel], touche. Oh wait. I think now you were talking about a musician. I thought ... nevermind. |
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Does World or Warcrack count? For the
Horde!! |
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I don't quite understand because this person [Akabaka] states that his/her ideas are STUPID anyway...and the first post is an MFD and this stupid idea is still here....cracked. |
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It's probably still here because of all the comments on it. |
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Clearly the mods are too busy with $5 crack to delete it. |
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Oh puh-lease, halfbakery is the crack
that's free. |
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"Don't meddle in the affairs of The Moderators, for your account is crunchy and tastes good with ketchup" |
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I think I have yet to delete an account,
mostly I just re-file ideas that are lazily
put in the Other: General folder or
similarly misfiled. There is the
occasional advertisement. |
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All right then: "Don't meddle in the affairs of The Moderators, for your postings may be efficiently re-filed, thereby increasing the enjoyment of the site by other users, and advertisements may be removed to keep the site as intended" |
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What if one day a depressed and angry moderator goes on a Columbine-style rampage through the 'bakery deleting accounts and threads at random ending with their own? Oh yeah - it's all backed up now. Shame we can't do that with kids. |
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This place cracks me up daily. |
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Who's Daly? And why is it his fault? |
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would the new, improved moderators, be
called modernators ? |
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The old one's (1960's) would be called "Mods", and all other types would be "Rockers". |
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Don't you just hate reading an anno you posted ages ago and thinking - what was I on about? |
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I quite like reading annos that you posted long ago and thinking "What was he on about?". But I'm strange that way. |
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I deleted the one I wrote as being waaay
tooo sensible |
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But now there's a crack in the annos. |
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What do you mean a crack in the annos? I'm writing on this page and I can't see any craAAAAAAAaaaaaaarrrrgh.... <fades to silence> |
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what's the crack? - well known expression
where I come from. |
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Had to have a laugh.... bakery not daft enough for me these days, so churning this one. Ha! I love it. |
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Time for an update from our cheap $5 crack-a-holic
moderators. Well? |
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Given the continuing advance of pharmacological science, there has to be an upgrade available by now, shirley ? |
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Is there an equivalent of Moore's Law for illicit stimulants ? |
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There is, but it only applies if you have access to the full catalogue of Sigma-Aldrich. |
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You mean some people don't ? Well, who knew, huh ... ? |
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What would life be like without a big jar of 2,4-DNPH slowly drying out under the Office Victim's desk ? |
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If you mean 2,4-dinitrophenol, I actually do have a big jar of it, and have dried it out in a 37° incubator to the point where it's a free-flowing powder. It hasn't exploded. It has been sitting on a shelf for at least six months quite happily. |
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<2 minutes later> I have just tried heating a couple of hundred mg of it in a bunsen flame. It melts, and then burns with a smokey flame and leaves gunk on my spatula. Very disappointing. |
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Get two spatulas, or better, teaspoons. Fill the bowl of one level with powder, place the other bowl-down on top. Rest on a hard surface and drop a brick on it. |
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If you want to initiate the whole jar, you'll need to - very gently - tamp it down, with a hardwood rod and mallet. Then, you'll find that a mousetrap, a length of string*, and some toy pistol caps, will provide short-lived but spectacular entertainment. |
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*The length of the string has a direct correlation to how brave - or stupid - you are**. |
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** The two qualities are, in some circumstances, not easily distinguishable. |
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I suspect that you may have in mind 2,4-DNP Hydrazine, which is apparently a different beast from 2,4-DNP. |
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Yes, it is. We did actually specify "DNPH" ... |
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Alternatively, you can just mix up a bucket of Tollens' reagent- mind you, silver nitrate isn't cheap. Fortunately, there are a whole range of amusing metallic acetylides, nitrides and styphnates that can be easily and cheaply produced. |
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Have you two take up the moderator crack challenge? Will you be experimenting on each other? Can I watch? |
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Television must be awfully dull in france. |
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I'm sure it is, but maybe you could sell them rights to the video of your cake mixing session with 8th of 7 to attract even more viewers. He seems very eager to please :-) |
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// Television must be awfully dull in france. // |
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Everything is awfully dull in france, except the police, who tend to be far more enthusiastic and exciting than is wise, safe or reasonable. |
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To be fair, though, the average number of unarmed black teenagers they murder is a little less than in the USA. |
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They have good trains, (and croissants) but then everywhere in Europe has good trains. (except the UK where they are total crap - ie ultra expensive, overcrowded, and as slow as molasses) Some of my favourite artists are French as well. |
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// They have good trains, // |
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... invented in England ... |
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... invented in Italy ... |
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// everywhere in Europe has good trains. // |
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Including Albania ? That's in Europe, technically... |
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// (except the UK where they are total crap - ie ultra expensive, overcrowded, and as slow as molasses) // |
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That's London. The Smoke Is A Different Country ... They Do Things Differently There ... |
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// Some of my favourite artists are French as well. // |
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Don't despair, treatment is available. |
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//They// Sp.: "nous", shirley? |
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Don't encourage the use of an archaic, irrelevant language. English has alreadly borowed all the words worth having ... the rest is (or soon will be) history. |
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If you really must, use something a bit more with-it and current, like Etruscan ... |
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Invented in England, and the originals are still running - hence the problem. The UK used to be a great country, but it's falling apart due to decades of no investment in infrastructure. Compared to Spain, Germany, France, Holland etc it's quite a sad experience trying to actually go anywhere by road or rail, but the humour is good. (you have to laugh in the face of adversity) Bring out le crack! Bring out la fish and les chips. Bring out les waddling drunks with les beer bellies....hand over les 100 Billion to get lost from the EU - yikes it's happening - I'm turning Frog. ha |
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// the originals are still running // |
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That's because they were really, really well designed and built. |
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// - hence the problem. // |
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What, millions of visitors coming from all over the planet to see the places it all started ... ? |
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// The UK used to be a great country, // |
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England still is. It's the others that drag the place down. |
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// but it's falling apart due to decades of no investment in infrastructure. // |
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... because the EU has been leeching all the money. |
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// Compared to Spain, Germany, France, Holland etc it's quite a sad experience trying to actually go anywhere by road or rail, // |
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// but the humour is good. // |
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The humour is outstanding; world class. England has exported unrestrained hilarity to many parts of the globe, although of course Boris may not stay at the Foreign Office indefinitely. |
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// (you have to laugh in the face of adversity) // |
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Strange, the Belgians seem a gloomy bunch .... |
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// Bring out le crack! Bring out la fish and les chips. // |
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Soon, though, not fish from English territorial waters (Sp. "the sea. All of it".) |
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// Bring out les waddling drunks with les beer bellies....// |
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Sorry, not many Germans close to hand, apart from Windsor - and most of the Royals are quite slim ... |
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// hand over les 100 Billion to get lost from the EU - // |
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Remind us again, how big are the EU's armed forces ? How many EU members haven't received a Right Drubbing at the hands of the Anglo-Saxons - except, of course, the ones that didn't dare try ? |
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// yikes it's happening - I'm turning Frog. ha // |
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More deserving of pity than condemnation. |
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//an archaic, irrelevant language// It is very difficult to say "Garcon! Where the fuck is my foie gras??" in English. |
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"Oi ! You ! Froggy waiter bugger ! Where's my goose-liver meat paste, you revolting little prole ? Come on, chop-chop ... do you remember Agincourt ? Waterloo ? Get a move on, if you know what's good for you, or I'll kick your smelly arse. Again." |
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So, you have the _abridged_ OED that starts with "aquarium" then? |
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"Cleansed" might be a better term ... |
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You two make a great double act. Do you use your connecting umbilical cord for skipping performances? |
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No, garotting foreigners. |
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Re-reading the title, we are disappointed that there's no mention
of developing improved formulations for materials to decelerate
fast neutrons into thermal ones. |
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I'm churning this one again, again. Every time I read it, along with its annotations, it makes me laugh, and serves as a reminder of how great this place used to be. It was posted in the year I first came here by the way. |
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I laughed out loud too! Thank you for posting it xen, I don't know whether to join the bone storm or bun it for its sheer hilarity. |
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